When You Blow It With Your Kids

It all started with a love of making homemade gifts for the holidays, something I’ve always done with my kids. Yesterday was the day, and the girls were excited. We pulled out the sewing machine and started cutting gorgeous cotton velour for Christmas gifts.

I usually love doing this with my kids. We turn on the Christmas music and go.

I was sewing with my youngest. It started off as a happy thing, really, it did,

but unexpectedly her fingers got dangerously close to the needle in the machine and I snapped at her. Her demeanor changed.

I brushed it off. After all, she needs to learn. She could have a needle in her finger if it weren’t for me. We could be on our way to the ER.

But the truth is, no matter what she did, I was wrong. I snapped at her because in my heart, I was selfish. I didn’t want to stop the Christmas music and teach/train during what should have been a fun time for us. I didn’t want to be a parent right then. What I wanted was to get things done. And Hope stood in my way.

You see, in my fantasy land, children don’t need parenting. They should should know right from wrong, right down to how to properly use a sewing machine at ten years old.

But she’s only ten and needs to be taught.

She’s impulsive with her hands and apparently, her mother is impulsive with her mouth. We both need to be taught.

Then the real teaching began. The part where I tell Hopie that mommy is sorry for being impatient and for making her feel like she was a bother.

The part where I tell her that sin makes us do and say things that hurt Jesus and others and that when we do, our sin hurts others like I just hurt you with my attitude. 

The part where I tell her that mommy is like this because sin has permeated every inch of our flesh, the totality of our mind, our hearts, our inner man is completely defiled by sin. And the part where I tell her that this is why Jesus is so valuable and precious. Because Jesus brought love and hope and relationship to people like me. Because he loved sinners, even when there was nothing good in them at all.

She forgives me and we go back to sewing. I’m reminded of the faithfulness of God to sinners, and I thank Him for the redeeming work of Calvary.