Spiritual Pitfalls to Avoid: Being Stiff-necked
We’re continuing our series on common spiritual pitfalls and today we will look at a condition the Bible calls stiff-necked.
The term stiff-necked comes from a Hebrew word that means “hard of neck” and describes someone who is hard to lead, stubborn, or obstinate. It is the opposite of submissive.
A stiff-necked person doesn’t care what anyone else says; they are going to go their own way, and they refuse to listen to wise counsel even when other people warn them against a certain attitude, action, or path.
If you’ve ever tried to take candy from a toddler who doesn’t want to let it go, you’ll know the stiffening I’m talking about. The body tenses, the jaw clenches and there’s no changing that child’s mind. They are determined to have the forbidden candy.
Sometimes adults aren’t much different from toddlers when confronted, except the stakes are higher and the forbidden desire is not “candy.”
I once saw a Christian woman get so angry because someone confronted her about a repeated sinful pattern in her life that her reaction was very much like a toddler’s. She was determined to hold onto that “candy” and defend her sinful choices. Not only did her face and countenance change instantly, but her neck became stiff and the veins in her neck became visible. She crossed her arms to communicate that she was not only not sorry but defiant. Stiffnecked.
What does the Bible say about this rebellious attitude towards God’s Word?
A stiff-necked person will not listen to rebuke and will be destroyed.
Proverbs 29:1 “He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck, will suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy.”
A stiff-necked person resists the Holy Spirit and is not Spirit-filled.
Acts 7:51“You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit!
A stiff-necked will not submit to God and God gives them over to the snare of their foolishness, pride, and rebellion.
Psalm 81:11-12 “But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.”
Stiff-necked people leave a legacy of evil deeds.
Jeremiah 7:26 But they did not listen to me or pay attention. They were stiff-necked and did more evil than their ancestors.’
There is a hardening that happens when we ignore the clear teaching of scripture or the kind warnings of a friend, parent, or co-laborer in the gospel.
An obstinate person thinks they are above all the rules and they resents any authority. Above all else, they will be in control. Since God’s Word tells us to submit to Him and others, this usually doesn’t end well. In a constant state of trying to get their own way, they aren’t very self-aware and don’t realize they are being controlled by their own rebellion and pride and it’s taking them for a ride away from the paths of right deeds (righteousness) into behaviors that will bring them shame in the future. Pride always forfeits internal peace. Insubordination always leaves someone at war with God and others. Rebellion was the original sin and whether we practice open loud resistance or a quiet inner defiance, an insubordinate heart must be brought to sincere repentance and return to the Lord.
2 Chronicles 30:8 “Do not be stiff-necked, as your ancestors were; submit to the LORD. Come to his sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the LORD your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you.”
Three ways to avoid being stiff-necked and submit to the Lord.
1.Know the Lord!
Spend time getting to know His power and character.
The Bible tells us that Pharaoh was stiff-necked and outright refused to obey God’s command to let the Israelites go.
“Pharaoh said, “Who is the LORD, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the LORD and I will not let Israel go.” (Exodus 5:2)
Notice Pharaoh’s question: Who is the Lord that I should obey Him?
That is a very telling statement. How delusional His pride had made him!
His arrogant disregard for the power of God should give us pause. We should ponder Who is this God that we dare disobey?
When tempted to disobey God’s Word, we should pause and ponder “Who is the Lord, that I should obey him?”
If you are a believer, this will correct any delusion that insists you have the right to disobey God’s rules to get what you want.
When we remember God’s power and sovereignty, we quickly repent of our pride which held that our ways, thoughts, and methods were superior to His. We will quickly submit to His superior ways.
When we get to know God’s character, we’ll realize His love and presence are the ultimate gifts in life and that we no longer have to try to fend for ourselves as though we don’t have a heavenly father caring for us.
We can remind ourselves that God is with you and always for you. He’ll never leave you. All you have is a good gift from Him. (Every good gift! Everything! Pause and look around at all you have! This truth is amazing and it should humble us and make us grateful!)
2. Adopt the potter/clay mindset.
God is working out the event of our lives for our good and His glory. Isaiah 64:8 says “But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You are our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand.”
This verse teaches that God has ultimate authority over our lives and that we should submit to his will and trust his process.
Nobody has the power to thwart His plans for you. When met with the ungodly actions or behaviors of people, see God at work leading you in a heavenly direction, testing your humility in the face of wrongdoing to see if you respond in kind on a low level, or if you will remain undeterred in your walk with Him. When you aren’t sure what He is doing, think of your future and remember Christ and respond with hope!
When we complain against what God hasn’t done in our lives or what He has allowed into our lives, we are grumbling against the Potter and questioning His goodness and supremacy. So we must pray for new desires: “Lord, teach me to want what you want and to embrace what you give!”
3.Live with a “thy will be done” mentality.
He is God, and we submit to Him.
Elisabeth Elliot said, “To pray ‘Thy will be done’, I must be willing, if the answer requires it, that my will be undone.”
When you sense that rebellion or pride is rearing its ugly head in your life, when you are tempted to sin to get what you want or find yourself irritated in the face of conviction or correction, remember that no matter what you feel, you want to do God’s will and embrace His ways. Remember the regret and shame you felt when you were ruled by selfishness and stubbornness in the past. Recall God’s promises to help you in your time of temptation and embrace the way of escape He offers and rest in Him. Recommit to loving God by loving the people He so loved, and refuse to be part of the hurting of His people.
Pray for grace to do this anytime you are irritated, bothered, angry, angsty, envious, or dealing with any of the sins of pride. (Those are usually warning signs that big old ME FIRST is rearing it’s ugly head.) Pray THY WILL BE FIRST and submit.
Question:
1.Is there any known sin in your life that you are excusing, pursuing, planning for, or hiding? Pray for forgiveness and allow the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit of humility and meekness which will give you a willingness to consider the whole council of scripture and bend to it.
2. Can you be corrected by those closest to you or have they learned (by negative experience!) that you want to do life your way? Would those closest to you say you are teachable and open to reason?
3. Are you thin-skinned and touchy when others hold you accountable to Scripture? How do you think this resistance to reproof has stunted your Christian growth and harmed your testimony in the church? How could being pliable to the Word of God help you walk an authentic Christian life?
4.Did the Holy Spirit bring an area that needs to change to your mind? Don’t resist Him!