What You Need To Know About Hosting Long-Term Company
Opening your home to a family for an evening is one thing, but what about having guests for a week or more?
Here are some suggestions from our own experience:
Give them their own space and stay out of it. If you have an extra bedroom, let them use it. Make it off limits to your own kids.
Be available for them, and be willing to talk, but be mindful of their needs and their kids as well. You can be cheerful, friendly and “available to talk” without being overwhelming and “in your face” by nervous chatter or a gazillion questions. There’s nothing worse than being bombarded with questions when what you really need is to get your young children to bed. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is point them to their bedroom and say, “Have a great night! I’m going to bed.” It takes the pressure off them. 🙂
Think about their life stage and determine what they need. If they are a younger family, they might need their baby to sleep. Keeping the house as quiet as possible will help. Maybe they have three toddler boys and might need someone to take them outside and help get some of the energy out. Include your kids and teach them to “entertain” the kids as part of learning to be a good host/hostess. Maybe the parents haven’t had a date night in forever due to their stage of life. Offer to watch the kids so they can go out!
Tell them to help themselves to snacks, drinks, fruit, whatever you have to share. My parents gave me Keurig machine a few years ago and it is one of my favorite tools for hospitality. I keep a basket of K-cups, tea bags, hot chocolate packets right out on the counter so they can take what they want when they want.
Keep breakables out of reach of kids. If you have something really valuable then put it out of reach. This will make your guests more at ease. When I hear a mom saying, “Don’t touch!” for fear her child will break my nick-nacks, I’m quick to say, “Oh, don’t worry, there’s nothing in this house that is irreplaceable.” It makes me happy when guests put their feet up on my coffee table.
Ask them what you can do to make their day more productive. Women who are living in your home still have goals of their own. They might be trying to homeschool children, potty train children, train children, etc. Ask how you can be helpful. Do they need to use your car to run an errand? Do they need a place to teach their kids?
Give them freedom to come and go as they please. They might want to see friends in the area, visit a local attraction or do a day trip as a family. This is especially true if the couple staying with you is a traveling Evangelist or missionary. They might really just need alone time for their family. Tell them what’s great to see in the area or tell them about library passes you might be able to check out for them to local museums or historic places. Offer to pack a small lunch for them if they’d like to take it along on their day trip. But give them time alone if they’d like that.
Let them use your “toys.” In other words, share what you have. If your kids have toys, bring a basket down for your company’s kids to use. If you have bikes or a canoe, let them use it as a family. A car? Share it. Give them access to your family book library, your movie library and DVD player,  ask them if they need to use your washer or dryer, etc…
Talk about meals. If you have someone staying with you for a week, talk to the mom about the meals you were planning and offer alternatives you can afford. Maybe they’d really love BBQ and not another spaghetti dinner because they’ve eaten that five times this week prior to coming to your home. Ask about food allergies and children’s likes and dislikes. Tell them when you eat and how you handle meals.
Give them clean towels and facecloths or point them to the linen closet so they can use the showers as they will.
I know this list is just the beginning, so what would you add? What have you learned about hosting people for longer periods of time? Share your wisdom in the comments.
You covered all those bases when we stayed with you…crying baby, potty training toddler, parents in need of a date, always having cocoa krispies on hand…you also never made us feel like we were taking up too much space with all our stuff. I think a big part of making someone feel comfortable in your home is asking them their preferences instead of making them completely conform to the mold of your family and your schedule for their stay at your house. Sometimes you have to give up your expectations about how things will play out in regard to your guests. Flexibility is key 🙂 for hostess and guests.
Thanks Sarah, these are great ideas and tips…especially the one about giving them their own time and space.
We had a lot of overnight company while my dh was in Seminary (prospective students). It was so fun. If they were single guys, we had them bunk up with my son, if they were married, we gave them our room and we slept on the couch as my dh kept weird hours (studying). We had a little house with ONE bathroom, but the fellowship was so sweet, we had a great time and made a lot of memories and most of them even came to the Seminary. 😉 It was a very different experience having people that I had never met into our home with three children, but the stretching out of my comfort zone was sooo good for me. We still laugh about the guy who didn’t like kids and had to stay with us……..he came to, though and is now married with 2 kids! 😉
It is always fun to have people in the house, isn’t it? That is awesome about the guy who didn’t like kids. Hopefully he loves them now. 🙂
It can be harder if you don’t have an extra room, but it is not impossible. We have a blow up mattress that we set up in our living room (it is a long open room). I have gotten sheets especially for it and also bought a set of “guest” towels, just for when someone comes. I have laid them out on a chair. We have a half bath in the hallway outside of the living room which we make sure that they know where it is. I have also left a small basket with soap, new toothbrush, small tube of toothpaste, some lotion, a comb, a pair of fingernail clippers, and emory board. A small package of bandaids and first aid cream…all things that add to comfort or that may have been forgotten. Oh, and I make sure that the bathroom has extra supplies (tp, tissues, soap, a toilet plunger).
Thank you for such great suggestions. It’s always so nice to let them know you prepared some goodies ahead of time. 🙂 And YES to the extra bathroom supplies. 🙂
Great tips, Sarah. I’d add that if there is anything quirky at your house, let them know early. It might be a toilet handle that needs extra jiggling, or a refrigerator shelf that can’t take heavy items, or squeaky brakes on the car.
As the Artful Dodger said in Oliver!, “Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We’ve taken to you so strong, it’s clear we’re going to get a long!”
Cheers,
Tim
YES! Little house quirks…like our hot water is really our cold water in our shower. AND when our heat comes on, it bangs through the pipes. Great thing to remember! 🙂
I too know a lot about how guests want to be treated, because I traveled over the past summer with a mission team and stayed at private homes. When you’re treating a friend who’s come to see you, I think that’s one thing, because they are visiting to see you and to spend time with you. But when you’re hosting an evangelist or missionary (especially someone with a family or someone you have never met before), I think it’s good to remember that they are probably physically and emotionally drained themselves. They have probably heard the same questions about their agendas and have repeated themselves a thousand times. From experience I know it’s very refreshing just to be shown around the house, given a room (bedroom where they can be alone, not a couch in the living room:)) that has neatly folded towels on the pillow, and told to go to bed. Some places I have been, the hostess has left my towels neatly folded, tied with a pretty pink ribbon, with a bar of chocolate slipped under the bow. In other places, hostesses put my towels on the table with a fruit basket in the middle, and have told me to eat if I wanted and then relax because she was going to bed (this = win:)) If you can’t afford to leave them something, it’s really just nice to be given a clean, tidy room. A couple wildflowers add a nice touch too:) Of course, you want to be friendly and helpful to your guests. Tell them about local restaurants or sights and ask them if they have any interest in going places. DO share anything you have (especially if you have a canoe or boat or a trail in the woods–those things feel so rare when you’re traveling and they really are a nice change to the normal sightseeing things!). And when you’re talking to them, be aware that they really do want to get to know who you are, most likely, and don’t be afraid to talk about yourselves a little bit. Also be aware that you will have a tendency to drill them–ask them the standard “get-to-know-you” questions. But don’t be afraid to ask them more personal things, like asking if they are homesick or how they feel at this point in their travels and what things they notice are different here than back home. These are honestly some of the most refreshing things to be asked, because it makes everyone feel a lot more like you’re a bunch of friends. Try to sense their needs before they say them–have flavored water already in a glass pitcher for when they come from putting their bags in their room. And don’t be too prim and proper about your house. Throw your feet up on the coffee table too and make them feel like this house is just as much theirs as it is yours. =)
Thanks, Bek! Great perspective. AND this mama is glad that you’ll be HOME this summer with me. xo
Sarah, Sarah…why do you always right the posts I need to hear?=) Our stay in Indo was a disaster. I felt like a total imposition. I tried to help out, but nothing I ever did was right. And I felt trapped. We couldn’t use their vehicles or bikes or anything.
What it made me realize is that having people into your home is work and is a sacrifice.
This gives very practical tips for how I want to be when I have people stay. I want to treat people how I want to be treated. And this is perfect. Thanks.=)
That is horrible. There’s nothing worse, is there? Being trapped in your home is one thing, but being trapped in someone elses and wanting to get out…ugh! So glad it was helpful, Bernadette. 🙂