Are Bikinis Modest?
Yesterday I spent a day on the beach with my kiddos.
You may not know this about me, but I am a people watcher. Want to know what I noticed yesterday?
Bikinis are not modest.
I saw scores of pre-teen girls, 8-12 years old, who have been marketed to and “sexed” up by our culture, parading around with just small scraps of material covering their private areas. I pitied them, and got a knot in my stomach thinking of pedophiles watching them on the beach. These are just little girls, who don’t know any better. They don’t understand that there are grown men behind brands like Abercrombie, with their controversial push up bikini for girls as young as 7 years old, who are marketing this stuff. We live in a P*rn culture, with a staggering 11,000 p*rnographic movies made each year. (Why is this trash being made? Because there is a demand for it, just like any other thriving “product” in our economy.)
But as Christian women, we are counter cultural and we know that scripture speaks of women dressing modestly, appropriately and with humility.
1 Tim. 2:8-10
Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. 9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
Bikinis cover less than your bra and underwear cover. A lot less. I contend that they are NOT modest.
No one would ever answer the door in their underwear under any circumstances because it is just plain too scantily clad to be considered decent. You wouldn’t walk down the street in your “unders”, or walk around Walmart like that. (okay. unless you want to land yourself on peopleofwalmart.com or course)
I would not talk to your husband in my “unders” if he came to our house, nor should you feel comfortable talking to my husband in yours if he came to your door. That would be totally unacceptable and just plain weird–not to mention, if you DID do that, I would be forced me to break out my ninja moves and cut you. (just kidding. sorta.)
So, why do we feel that it is right to walk around in less than our underwear in front of the general population?
What was once only meant for the bedroom is not openly seen in public. Can this be right?
Does God think our clothes are no big deal?
C.J. Mahaney:
There is “not a square inch” of our lives—including our closets—with which God is not concerned. Even more, he cares about the heart behind what you wear, about whether your wardrobe reveals the presence of worldliness or godliness.
All respectable apparel is the result of a godly heart, where modesty and self-control originate. Your wardrobe is a public statement of your personal and private motivation. And if you profess godliness, you should be concerned with cultivating these twin virtues, modesty and self-control.
Modesty means propriety. It means avoiding clothes and adornment that are extravagant or sexually enticing. Modesty is humility expressed in dress. It’s a desire to serve others, particularly men, by not promoting or provoking sensuality.
Immodesty, then, is much more than wearing a short skirt or low-cut top; it’s the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It’s pride, on display by what you wear.
Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress.”
and John MacArthur:
“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood?…. Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself, and flaunt her…beauty? Or worse, to attempt to allure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.”
Just to be clear, I am not saying that one piece bathing suits get a free ride either. They can be just as immodest. I get that. I wear a two piece tankini and feel that it is my “most modest option” short of calling attention to myself in something that looks like it came from the 1900’s. If there were no modest options, to be honest, I would just avoid wearing a swimsuit all together.
Just to be clear, you CAN be covered over in a burka and still have a heart that is proud, self seeking and not holy.
What say you? Are you struggling to teach your daughters modesty? Do you find it hard to bring your sons to the beach, because you don’t want to bring them to a place where they will have to fight their own flesh the whole time?
as a man, i wanna see women as human’s… not sex objects… too often women are objectified, and girls think, if it’s in, i gotta have it.
Great article. I just shared a message at our church called, “Purity in Parenting.” I addressed bikinis and you could’ve heard a pin drop. It needs to be discussed and I have said the same things to people about how we wouldn’t walk around in front of other’s husbands in our bra and undies so why do we think it’s ok to walk around in less than that because we are at a beach. Thanks again!
Thank you, Sherri. It is a sensitive topic that many times has never been taught.
Sarah ,
check out this website http://www.modestlyyoursswimwear.com
Thank you! I will check it out. I usually find my something at Lands End. They have cute tankinis with shorts and higher necklines that work for me. Plus they have great sales! 😉
I commented on your FB page …”If Bikini’s are modest then what is ‘immodest’? That usually gives the church girls and mom’s something to think about. They all pull out the “judging sword” but then I put it in their court to answer. “Tell me what immodesty IS if bikini’s ARE modest? Just what does it mean?” It usually gets real quiet. I would agree that the showing the underwear as outerwear is also “immodest”. Thanks for this post…I linked it to my FB page…hope it generates some thought on the issue.
Amen, sister! My 14 y/o is starting to feel more “out” wearing one-piece swimsuits, but reading info like this together really helps!
Thank you for this. If we ever went to the beach, we always made it after most were in the bars around sunset, therefore we weren’t seen nor did we have to see unwanted images. We would find things to do IE. mini golf, until then. When swimming at extended family’s private pool, our girls and myself wore culottes and t shirts over our suits.
I have been bothered by this for a long time!!!!! I used the J.M. quote and wrote something on my face book concerning this. It certainly leads to other evil – porn, child trafficking, slavery, rape, etc.
As women, we must encourage each other to think about our actions.
loves,
Shonni
http://www.nationsaroundourtable.com/
http://www.facebook.com/shonni.hassoldt
Thank you for sharing this Sarah. I used to dress very differently than I do now. I wanted to look beautiful and I also had a lot of pride in how my body looked and I wanted to show it off.
God has really convicted me over the past few years, and I have made a conscious effort to avoid drawing attention to myself through my clothes and other outward adornments. Since my daughter was born, I have also realized that I am an example to her. What I wear “says more” than what I say verbally to her about modesty.
Definitely sharing this post. God bless you.
Same here, Rachel. Thankfully God does not leave us where we are, and His word enlightens us.
Wonderful article! We have struggled to find modern but modest clothing/swim suits for our daughters, ages 14 and 10. Thankfully, layering has helped! Can we also suggest that “underwear” is not “outerwear”. I’m so perplexed by the desire to have bra straps visible as though it’s “fashionable”. Of course it is all a matter of the heart, but common sense shouldn’t be thrown out the window.
I agree on the bra straps showing. They used to be termed “unmentionables” because not only did you not SHOW them, you didn’t even mention them in polite society.
So agree ….maybe we need a post about that as well…
It kills me to think that girls and guys who dress modestly to church go to camp and put on their underwear and play together in the pool. If I notice who has fat legs and big chests, don´t think the hormone crazy 14 year old isn´t noticing! Then when he goes home at night he can remember it all. It isn´t kind to guys to do that to them and then make them feel guilty for their thoughts. Good article.
Yes, that is not a good plan. It does make them struggle! UGH!
Agree. It’s actually worse where I live. Topless is legal here. Once, I walked past two women who were sunbathing topless, right by where everyone walked. I was really glad my sons weren’t with me. Makes me so angry! It’s all around us here.
It makes me angry, too. It is so indecent and shameless.
Thank you for sharing this, Sarah. As always, an excellent post. I do believe that this dovetails with keeping oneself for a future spouse. Being young and not having a good understanding of the scripture, I didn’t understand this before getting married and honestly, I didn’t have anyone telling me otherwise. I remember my parents saying, “you’ll catch more bees with honey”. I also think, that as women, we don’t have a good understanding of the way men were made. I believe this is just as important to this issue and maybe even the heart of why we see this within the church. Some thoughts for older woman to consider as they teach the younger women to love their husbands and children.
I didn’t understand this until I got married, either, Karen. 🙂
I have to admit that my perspective on this has changed in the past several years. When I first got married, I thought it was perfectly acceptable to wear a bikini because my husband liked it. “I’m pleasing my husband”, I reasoned. My heart is fine, therefore it’s ok. Well…not so much.
First of all, then I had three kids. So the question of whether or not I even look good in a bikini anymore is just irrelevant. I don’t want to look at myself in a bikini!! 🙂 But I now have three boys and I’ve grown way more conscientious of what I wear in front of them. The thing is that your heart can be fine before the Lord, but you may be causing others’ hearts to not be fine. It isn’t just my own husband looking at me, it’s lots of other men. And that kind of weirds me out.
Yes, the law of love would demand that I not put temptation in front of a guy. As a mom of a teen boy, I feel badly for guys today. It is everywhere. Actually, if you do a google image search using the word bikini, you would not believe how trashy the women are posing. It is all sexual. Of course, if you want to wear a bikini for your husband in private, then by all means, go ahead. THAT would be a great use for one. 🙂
I wanted to let you know that where I live http://www.rosecreekvillage.com; we understand that women need to dress modestly – we’re still working on a few things 😉 – but when we do go swimming we usually wear swim trunks (men’s) and tank tops over our regular swim suits. We are trying to think of our brothers in Christ, so they do not stumble. There was one time when my husband and I were traveling through Dallas and we stayed at a hotel that had a pool. My boys and I went swimming (my boys wear t-shirts to swim in also) and the ladies that were swimming there actually went and got t-shirts to wear over their suits! I was very surprised and happy that they changed what they we wearing – I think they saw that I could swim and have fun with what I was wearing and still be modest – and they wanted to be modest too! 😀