The Mommy Myth of “Someday”
Chances are, if you have children, you’ve thought of what you might do “someday” when the kids are gone.
Someday, I’ll finish that degree.
Someday, I’ll build that company.
Someday, I’ll write that book, visit that land, buy that house, start volunteering in the community.
It’s like we believe that motherhood has us in a holding pattern and we have to wait for our real life– the meaningful work– to start after the kids are grown.
This mindset is a bit depressing because it believes the lie that today is just practice and tomorrow is the end game when today is the most important day of your life.
As Christians, we believe that God ordains each day and that every day is appointed with some good work we are ordained to do. Today is not optional or practice for real life–today is the day to do your most missional work. To forget this is to devalue the very real life you are living right now.
Living for someday is to miss out on the everyday appointments that God has placed before you today and to forget that today is holy unto God with work and lessons and love that are meant for today.
If you want to live a life you won’t regret, live today like this is your most important day of your life, whether you are at home with the kids, or caring for a sick parent, or stirring a pot of soup that will be eaten and forgotten in five minutes by a group of hungry teens.
Embrace every opportunity. Love the people around you. Look for ways to show kindness. Learn what God is trying to teach you.
Hey, I know parenting isn’t 100% glamourous. There’s no Academy Award for Best Diaper Changer or Best Supporting Taxi Mom, but that doesn’t mean that today is not your most important day.
You are right where you are to make a difference in your own little sphere at home, with your husband, your friends, parents, and church. Imagine how much you could impact your little corner of the world if you jumped in with your best work now. It might look different than you imagined, but it’s the real work of today. It’s the life of faith that lives “all in” right where you are today, however imperfect, however unglamorous, however mundane or unappreciated.
“The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived – not always looked forward to as though the “real” living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow.” Elisabeth Elliot
You are SPOT on. I can not even begin to tell you how many times I set my website or book writing aside for family and ministry in my local church but I see so many moms who fall into this trap of trying doing it all and sacrificing their first jurisdictions in the process. I will admit, I struggle with this too. Our culture doesn’t revere the power of motherhood and wifehood and I even fall into the temptation of being discontent. I am so thankful for a husband who I can be honest with about this struggle and who reminds me of who I am in Christ, not because of what I do and who reminds holds me accountable to living in balance. I have seen so many women struggle with regrets later in life because they didn’t get priorities straight and I refuse to let that be me. Let’s stand strong together sister!
Yup. It took me three days to write this measly 400 word post because our toddler needed me. All in God’s timing! The people right in front of us need to take priority!
Yes, so true. Now is all we have, the kids are who they are today, my husband is my best friend now, this is the home we live in at this moment. So easy to forget and become discontent.
Love every word of this! You are exactly right!
Your message is such a timely reminder to me. My kids are younger teens-getting past the diapers and bottles, looking forward toward them driving, finishing school, being independent kind of has me in limbo. I know life is changing fast. Great reminder to enjoy and make the most impact today.
Yes, it goes so fast! I have three adult children, two teens and a toddler. Life sure does change–but God is in the midst of it all. Thanks for stopping by, Melody!
Very well written Sarah and thank for always encouraging!
With love sweet friend
Nicole
Thank you, Nicole. God bless you and your own little ones.