Are You Better or Bitter?

What started out as a phone call for prayer, advice and comfort, ended up leaving me so encouraged this week! A much younger than I am sister-in-Christ called me for help. Her husband is in the ministry and they are having multi-faceted problems. (Where there are people, there are problems!)

Why would a call for help leave me so encouraged?

This friend, going through a hard time- an unfair trial caused by the mistreatment of other people- was totally handling this problem biblically! Her reactions were showing a heart that was bowed to the will of God!

Instead of spewing bitterness and worry, I heard words like  “I know God is going to use this for good,” and ” I know God has something He wants me to learn in all of this!” Hearing this was so refreshing and warmed my heart. In her sorrow over real problems, she is reaching for and trusting in God and His sovereignty. Out of the abundance of her heart, she spoke– and her mouth gushed forth trust in God.

Trials can make us better or bitter. And I am confident that my friend is going to come forth shining, because she is determined to do the right thing no matter what! She is keeping a guard over her heart. She is in a posture of humility instead of in a fighting position. She must pray. God will repay. How can she loose?

I have scribbled in the front of my Bible these words:

My mission is to:

• 1. Rest in God’s sovereignty and not seek to establish my own sovereignty. (Let God be God.)
• 2. Rely on His grace rather than performing in my own strength.
• 3. Submit to His glory, rather than seeking my own glory.

Sometimes I forget that. And in the  midst of trials, I react in ways that are exactly the opposite of my said above “life goals,” and I realize the ugliness of my own heart.

In his book, Your Reactions Are Showing, J.Allan Peterson puts it like this: (it is long, but worth the read!!)

The Bible also gives us commissions and commands.

We are just as obligated to obey God in those as we are to refrain from what He has forbidden.We all know that wrong actions can be ruinous.They can adversely affect one’s personality and bring defeat into his life.

But do we realize that wrong reactions can hurt us as much as wrong actions – perhaps even more so?

What is more, wrong reactions can be found in people whose actions on the surface are correct and proper. 

A person who prides himself on his right actions might truthfully say, “I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I don’t swear, I don’t get drunk, I don’t commit adultery.” His actions are correct and proper,

yet he may be utterly defeated by his wrong reactions to life’s situations and other people’s actions.

We may at any given moment pride ourselves on right actions

and yet be reacting withjealousy, or resentment, or anger, or hatred, or fear or self-pity.

To react in one or several of these ways when things do not please us will be very harmful to us.

It is our reactions– our spontaneous, unconscious, unscheduled reactions– that reveal what we really are.

A person’s real character is revealed by his reaction when he has been misunderstood,mistreated or hated. If we react in the same way others have reacted –with criticism and hostility,then we are no better than they are.And we are as guilty as they. We need to confess our sinfulreactions to God just as much as they need to confess theirs.Our reactions can ruin us as much as their reactions can ruin them.

Just like pouring boiling water over a tea bag, the flavor of what’s inside naturally comes spilling and seeping out. The water does not cause a flavor. It is a catalyst to reveal the flavor of what’s inside.  It may be sweet or it may be bitter.   The hot water (trial) exposed what was hidden inside the tea bag (heart).

Eleanor Roosevelt said “A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she’s in hot water.” And, for the sake of our example, you never know what her heart is like until you put her in hot water.

What’s been bubbling out of you lately?

Anger at the kids? Complaining? Gossip? Criticism of others? You may want to check out  what’s brewing inside of you.

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