Motherhood Does Not Negate Your Other God-Given Roles

Peter is teaching a series to our teen youth group about loving others well by working well. He presented an interesting concept about life vocations that I immediately thought would benefit moms of little ones. He was warning the teens not to be all consumed by their future paid vocation because we are called to wear many hats in this life.

And, of course, for moms, it’s easy to be all consumed and defined by motherhood.

Motherhood is a noble calling, to be sure. Teaching moms to love their children well is part of the mandatory Titus 2 “curriculum.” But I wonder if we’ve become child-centered to a fault. Yes, if you have kids, motherhood is where you’ll put a lot of effort. That’s good, but it can also be bad if it trumps all other relationships–like if we are more a mom than we are a wife, for instance.

We are all multi-vocational.

I am not just a mother. I am also a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend, a neighbor, an employee, a church member, a citizen of this country.

We shouldn’t define ourselves by one role.

We get all weird when we define ourself by one role. It’s like we find our security there, but that’s not healthy.

Peter gave his example to our teens: The workaholic husband.

God’s not going to say to him, “You did such a great job building your career that I don’t care that you weren’t a good father.” A husband who climbs the corporate ladder and neglects his family is neglecting God given responsibilities.

Likewise, a pastor who cares well for his church but neglects his wife and kids is not going to get a pass because his ministry was spectacular. When church life overtakes everything else, something is amiss.

And young mother who is so wrapped up in her children to the neglect of her husband, parents, siblings or church family is not loving her neighbors well. God appoints our “borders.” He puts us in families and churches and neighborhoods for a purpose. We can’t neglect those roles.

Remember, our roles have limits, meaning they stop somewhere to give way to other roles.

Don’t let one calling in life rob you of other callings.

If we aren’t careful, we can make idols of our children. They can morph into becoming the center of our world, instead of the welcome addition and blessing that they are.

Don’t get me wrong, you should love your kids! But if you can’t even go away with your husband over night because you can’t bear to leave the kids, that’s out of whack. If you won’t leave the kids to go to lunch with a friend, you’re missing out on friendships that you should cherish…not to mention some good food. If you don’t even give a thought to your husband during the day, so that he receives your “left-overs” because you’ve solely invested in the kids all day, that’s out of balance.

Balancing life is always tricky, no doubt about it. But we’ll value our other relationships rightly when we realize that God has given us these roles to play, and has given us these people to love for a reason.

Don’t neglect other roles because you are a mom. It’s not healthy for you, it’s not loving your neighbors well, and it’s abdicating a God given sphere of influence that you’re responsible to steward well. Motherhood doesn’t negate our other God-given roles.

Pray for wisdom, jot down your roles and see if you’ve neglected any major vocations in your life. Then, start planning ways to adjust if need be.

Invest in a friendship by going out for lunch or stopping by for coffee, visit a shut in, say hello to your neighbor, visit a grandparent, love your husband well.

Does one vocation tend to consume and define you? What can you do to adjust and nurture all the relationships God’s ordained in your life? Let me know what you’re planning. 🙂