Parenting Advice that I Ignored, Which Panned Out to Be True!

When you’ve got young kids, you’re a magnet for unsolicited advice, plain and simple.

Everywhere you go, old ladies ask whether your child is hot or cold. They want to make you aware that your kid is sucking on their shoe or eating the grocery store carriage strap.

Sometimes we shrug this advice off and tune people out.

I was like that. I took all the advice I got with a huge grain of salt. Some of it panned out to be needless, but some of it, I learned later, was true, and had I listened, could have saved myself some needless worry and problems.

Here are some examples that panned out to be true after all.

It’s NOT going to kill them.

Turns out, crying at bedtime does not kill your child. Neither does letting them ingest a little dirt while they make mudpies. And if you don’t slather them with sunscreen each and every time they go outside, they will still come back breathing.

In our day, children just played.

Kids don’t need every sport organized for them. They can entertain themselves with sticks, a ball, some water and dirt. Kids are creative, but when parents take control of every aspect of their free time, it stifles creativity.

Let them learn their lessons.

Some kids learn well with verbal instruction and some kids need to learn the hard way (within reason–we’re not talking learning the hard way that if you run into the road you’re going to get hit. We’re talking, if you don’t put your coat on, you will be cold. mkay?) Letting kids learn their lessons in a controlled environment, and then helping them choose wisely next time is what parenting is all about.

You’re making them nervous!

Sometime we are the cause of our children’s fears. Self fulfilled prophecy? I don’t know, but children do pick up on what petrifies us and we can make them neurotic over silly things if we aren’t careful. Have you ever seen a child that has the same nervous habit as their parent? Children copy our behaviors, whether it’s a twitch, a nervous saying or a mannerism.

Don’t preach at them!

For whatever reason, mothers love to scold their children. It’s in our make-up, I swear! But scolding needs to go. Teaching your child has a completely different  tone than preaching at them. “Instruction in righteousness” does not equal bludgeoning them with Bible verses. Bible verses in every day talk is normal. Wielding a Bible verse at every offense is, well, not really wise. In the heat of the moment, you probably won’t reach the heart. If you’ve ever had a condescending talk with someone who talks down to you, you’ll understand this. Teaching is horizontal, whereas a preachy tone talks down to others. If in doubt, record yourself.

Did you ever shrug off advice, only to learn later that it was true? Share your story.  Why is it that unsolicited advice is so annoying to us? Chime in in the comments.