Family Update: Walking in the Way of Wisdom

Hello, friends. This space has been quiet and I wanted to dust off the cobwebs and welcome you back in for a chat at my virtual kitchen table.

We got a little tease of spring weather last week, which caused me to threw wide open the windows and take to the outside to clean up the tumbleweed-hydrangea blowing everywhere after that incredible 24″ snowfall we had two weeks ago. I’m happy to report that my lawn, though brown and muddy, is now visible again.

Life Lately

I’m still homeschooling our son Brayden, using Ambleside Online and Teaching Textbooks. One of the perks of homeschooling is that mom gets a continued education. I love making new connections (I was today years old when I realized that the Mason/Dixon line was named after the two surveyors!) and seeing his mind coming alive with the “science of relations.” I’m actively involved in his two homeschool co-ops, and in Charlotte Mason New England, a support/resource group I helped establish for families using the Charlotte Mason method. (If you are in the New England area and want to learn more about the CM method, we have a spring conference coming up! Details on the site.)

My grown kids are all living close by which means that they…and my nine grandkids… are always in and out of the house. The coming and going of sweet grandkids faces just makes life so cheerful. Being “Grandma” and “Papa” to such a gaggle of beautiful kids is just so much fun.

And being friends with your adult kids, that’s a whole post right there.

Sometimes I look at my adult children and have flashbacks to when they were 2 years old (Holly as vivid as yesterday with her white flowered zip-up jammies and little bob haircut) or 3 (Matthew, always a sweet-cheeked 3 year old in overalls in my memory) and I am overwhelmed at how thoughtful and kind and competent they all are and just how good God has been to us. He has been faithful to continue working in their lives and is completing that work. We have no greater joy than to see them walking in the Truth of the gospel, bearing God’s image and being light-givers in this dark, lost world. It’s exciting to see the work the Lord has planned for each of them to do and to see them fulfill that calling. I love all of them dearly.

There’s also something wonderful about seeing our family grow. All those family traditions –that were so exhausting to pull off in the younger years– become established and modified to better fit us all. Our times together become a jumble of perpetual motion and high chairs and rearranging tables so everyone can fit. Sunday dinners are the highlight of our week, one that I try to make as special as we can afford, because we sit around the table all afternoon and talk and drink tea and discuss the events of the week, the books we are reading, current events, theology, and plans for the future. The grandkids all want to pray before the meal, so we do the rounds and the food waits, but their sincere prayers are too precious to miss. These times are marked by lots of work, yes, but also of profound thankfulness, not because the day or event turned out perfect, but because we are all here, and partakers together of the graces of life, and present for the little antics of the grandchildren who are eager to please with songs and dances and stories.

I’ve been talking lately with friends about aging in a godly way and resisting the urge to fall into the twin traps of trying to be forever young on one hand or complaining your entire way down on the other. We check in with each other because we want to walk in the way of wisdom. We encourage each other to practice faithfulness to Christ and to His Word, in theological belief and in everyday action.

We’ve been talking about how every seed planted and watered really does produce a harvest. How doing the next right thing even when you don’t feel like it is what maturity means and how sin (like weeds) spreads and becomes invasive and needs to be ruthlessly pulled out at the root.

We’ve talked much about “experience” and how people change. I remember as a younger woman taking note of older woman who had rough edges or sharp tendencies that hurt others (or at least kept younger women from wanting to deal with them) and wondering how on earth they got so stuck when the gospel promised growth in grace. We’ve discussed this topic often, how to avoid being that stuck in your ways, older Christian woman. We’ve noted that touting 20, 25, 30 years of “experience” in any capacity (work, motherhood, ministry) does not mean that you’ve grown and changed and really learned from your mistakes. How if you don’t repent and determine to change your actions, you’re really just 30 years into whatever you are doing, making first and second year mistakes over and over again through all those years. How to avoid being a 30 year “freshman” we must look into the mirror of God’s Word, humble ourselves under it, and change our desires.

We’ve talked much about choosing wisdom in the next season of life. I’ve written about walking in integrity in our home, and making wise use of time with social media , and prioritizing the people God has placed directly in our circle of responsibility (husband, children, in-laws, grandkids, siblings, aging parents, church) and what that looks like on a day to day basis. We compare notes as our circle of care expands and our strength and stamina decreases. As I continue to write in this space, I plan to talk about several of these topics.

I’m reading quite a bit these days, mostly in the early morning hours before Bray is up for the day. I have a double shot of espresso and light a candle and enjoy some quiet time.

Books I’m Reading

I’ve really loved Extraordinary Hospitality. (Amazon link) I think it’s balanced and hopeful and practical. One of the best books I’ve read on the subject.

I’ve also loved the Gospel Primer for Christians by Milton Vincent. It would be a great read during this Easter season.

Quotes I’m Pondering

“Come, and see the victories of the cross. Christ’s wounds are your healings, His agonies your repose, His conflicts your conquests, His groans your songs, His pains your ease, His shame your glory, His death your life, His sufferings your salvation.” Matthew Henry

“Righteous anger remains self-controlled. It keeps its head without cursing, screaming, raging, or flying off the handle. Nor does it spiral downward in self-pity or despair. It does not ignore people, snub people, or withdraw from people. Instead, righteous anger carries with it the twin qualities of confidence and self-control. Christlike anger is not all-consuming and myopic but channeled to sober, earnest ends. Godly strains of mourning, comfort, joy, praise, and action balance it.” Robert Jones, Uprooting Anger

Seven questions to help you assess whether your anger is righteous. “(1) Do you get angry about the right things? (2) Do you express your anger in the right way? (3) How long does your anger last? (4) How controlled is your anger? (5) What motivates your anger? (6) Is your anger “primed and ready” to respond to another person’s habitual sins? (7) What is the effect of your anger?” David Powlison

I’d love to know what you are reading and studying these days. Feel free to reach out to me via Instagram messenger or email if I can pray for you or help in any way. ~Sarah