Stop Seeking Permission and Take Ownership of your Joy

One of the advantages of age is that you’ve actually experienced life and learned a few things. “You Learn By Living” as Eleanor Roosevelt would say, and it’s true. So many of our misconceptions are corrected by simply living.

I was thinking about some of the greatest practical lessons I’ve learned, and I thought I’d share one with you today because it will help you as you pursue your life with joy and purpose.

Are you ready for this grand revelation?

There is no permission slip for life.

Shocking, isn’t it?

You get to live how you want.

You can get up when you want, work how you want, dress the way you want, say what you want, etc.

But here’s the catch–with choices come consequences.

• You might choose to eat that candy bar and chips at 10 pm, and you are free to eat it, but you get the consequence on the scale the next morning.
• You might think that speaking your mind empowers you in the moment. Your choice. But there are consequences to words. And other people have agency as well and they will most likely choose not to spend time with someone who spews the contents of their sour heart out of someone else. Their choice.

If you are the type of woman who is waiting for someone to give you permission to pursue the work God is nudging you to do, again, the permission slip isn’t coming. Sometimes people will ask you to jump into this ministry or pursue that good work, but most often, God nudges us and that’s all we need.

If God drops an opportunity in your lap, pray about it.

If it’s out of your comfort zone, pray about it.

If it’s something you never imagined you’d be doing, pray about it.

God will gently nudge you and make His will known. Then do your part to prepare: get busy learning how you can best serve in that capacity. Take a class, read a book, serve with someone else who’s already doing it well. Find women who are living well and spend time with them.  Learn about their work. See how they serve. Encourage them in their work.

Our choices really do affect our entire life.

You can choose faithfulness or infidelity.

You can choose bitterness or tenderness.

You can choose to meditate on the corrupt or the Divine.

We can choose daily disciplines that will undergird our days with strength: Bible reading, prayer, meditation, fellowship.

These disciplines, when practiced in godliness, serve you and allow you to, in turn, serve others. Conversely, when we are haphazard, unprepared, or reactionary in life, we won’t get it together to get out of our own way, never mind serving others well. And here’s the killer:  it’s your life, and you are the one who loses out when you take the undisciplined road. The Bible says that ” A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Prov. 25:28 The picture is of loss, destruction, and vulnerability.

You don’t need permission to be choosy with your friends.

We’ve talked about all the different kinds of people we call “friends” (acquaintances, neighbors, school friends, employees, other congregants) and we certainly can’t control the people God puts in our path and asks us to love, but in your free time, when you can choose, you should be particular about the character of the people you spend time with because you learn their ways. People affect you and vice versa!

I remember a few years back a woman (an acquaintance) asked me to meet her for coffee to discuss homeschooling. At that first coffee meet up, she made jabs at other people we both knew mutually and questioned the motives of people who did things differently than she did.  It wasn’t pleasant because she wasn’t pleasant. It was a quick coffee chat, I can assure you! I could not get away from her fast enough.  She was so plain miserable that I determined right then and there to not spend time with someone like that if I could help it because perpetual “paranoia” isn’t pretty, know what I mean? LOL

Honestly, you are responsible for your time and what you allow to influence you. And in the end, it affects your spiritual health. Give someone grace, of course, if they are venting because they are frustrated about something in their own life, some trial or personal struggle, but never if they are venting about another person. THAT’s not a “friend” you want or need.

You don’t need permission to seek joy and do what gives your home a pleasant atmosphere. I’m a huge proponent of beautiful music, bouquets of flowers, candles, throw blankets, chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, and a general atmosphere of coziness. We can take ownership of our home atmosphere and we should. Why would we live in drab surroundings when they could be made beautiful by such small touches? Of course, like anything, these things can teeter on idolatry if they are demanded, but in the normal course of life, the beauty added is always a good thing.

What good can you do? Pursue it.

What change can you make? Use your agency and do it.

Who needs encouragement? You’re already commanded to encourage and edify, so you know what to do.

How can you seek joy in your everyday walk? You are the only one who can live your life well, so stop waiting for permission and do it.