Being in control is almost seen as a virtue in our culture. The perfect woman is portrayed as influential, assertive, mouthy and equal, if not equal-er, to men. In short, women are encouraged to call the shots, be a driver, and end up on top.
As Christian women, we know that God has called us to humility, so we shun this whole mindset in theory, but in practice I fear we are just as controlling.
Oh, we’ve re-labeled it, and re-packaged it to make it look noble, but at its core it is still the same.
Right off, let me say that you cannot be a Spirit controlled woman if you are a controlling woman.
We might claim to be “assertive, ” which is code for we are eager to make sure our will is done our way.
We might call ourselves “conscientious” but in reality we want to be in charge of every little thing our kids, husband, church or friends do.
A controlling woman thinks these things, although she’d never verbalize them.(you see, she is in control of her reputation as well.)
Signs that you might be a controlling woman:
A controlling woman always thinks she is right. If her husband isn’t dealing with something the way she thinks he should, she takes over. She meddles behind the scenes, and tries to fix everything.
A controlling woman thinks that she doesn’t need input from anyone else to raise her kids. (although she’ll give you her 2 cents about how you should be raising yours, you can count on that!) She doesn’t need input from church family or friends. She is Mom Almighty.
A controlling woman gets angry when her way is disregarded.
A controlling woman is critical and bitter when her expectations are not met.
A controlling woman is impatient when God isn’t working fast enough for her liking.
A controlling woman struggles with letting go: of rights, problems, positions, reputation, of misunderstandings.
A controlling woman is playing god and has set her heart on one thing: Her way.
And in the end a controlling woman is never happy. She lacks lacks the fruit of the spirit because she is not controlled by the Spirit.
You can’t be loving, joyful, peaceful, good, gentle, meek, patient and thankful when Christ is not Lord of your life. And if you are ruling, He is not.
Do you struggle with being controlling? I have in the past.
That is why I appreciated this book so much; Karen Ehman’s new book Let.It.Go.
I have learned so much from Karen’s books on hospitality, and especially love her manual for hospitality A Life That Says Welcome. She even let me share her delish crescent roll recipe from that book in my Christmas ebook!
Her focus on God being central in all that we do is refreshing to me. When your focus is right, your life will be transformed. Outlook affects outcomes!
Here is a little about LET.IT.GO:
Women are wired to control. We make sure the house is clean, the meals prepared, the children are dressed, and everyone gets to where they’re going on time. But sometimes our strength of being conscientious can morph into the weakness of being a slight—or all out—control freak! This humorous, yet spiritually practical book will help you to:
- Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
- Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
- Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
- Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
- Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God.
Really, at its core, being a controlling woman is volleying for God’s rightful position as ruler of your life. You can’t rule and be submissive to God’s rule at the same time.
Karen gently exposes our common struggles, offers grace, wisdom, humor and practical steps for us to trust God with the reins again.
You can win one of two copies of Let.It.Go.
Use the Rafflecopter form below. Note: All those who leave a comment on this blog will be entered into Karen’s bigger drawing to win a free Kindle Fire at the end of her book launch! Enjoy!