Recognizing “drainers” and “fillers” (Refresh, ch.8)
In chapter 8 of ReFresh, Shona Murray talks about remedying depression and choosing to balance the things that drain the life out of us, with the things that give us energy and fill us up.
She discusses things that help depression: Good exercise, good sleep, and good diet. She gives a little of the science behind our food and mood, and our food and mind, which I found fascinating.
She also talks about temporarily taking antidepressants (I’d highly recommend reading the whole chapter! She takes a very balanced and common sense approach!) and concluded that while she was hesitant, she found that the medication was a kindness of Providence to her and a means of healing. She has lots of great advice like if you know that antidepressants are controversial in your circle, then don’t tell too many people. She warns against believing the caricatures of people who are on antidepressants and explains that most of the people she’s counseled have not been lazy or unmotivated at all. She says the opposite is true. Most are high achievers, and usually on the lookout for ways to serve others.
In the second half of the chapter, Shona talks about balancing things that drain us with things that fill us. For instance, if you know that watching the news drains you, plan to do something you know will fill you for a few minutes that same day.
Of course, our drainers and fillers will be different, but I jotted down mine so you could get the gist of what she means.
What drains me: Negative people (complainers, poor me, paranoid people, judgmental), too many people talking at once, staying up too late, news, social media scrolling, counseling, clutter in the house, being taxi mom.
What fills me: meaningful conversation, positive people (people I look up to, sweet spirit, thankful people, empathetic people) reading, studying, nature, painting, blogging, hospitality, mentoring women, laughing, my family, coffee times with friends, counting my blessings.
Basically, watch your intake of negative and purposefully make time for the positive.
She quotes a pastor whose wife struggled with depression:
The life of a young family can be incredibly stressful, and I don’t think we really appreciate enough the weight of that day-in, day-out stress. And it doesn’t have to be a family that experiences some really traumatic event. It can just be the normal everyday life of a busy young family. If you don’t take precautions for physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, eventually you’ll just run out of gas and energy and you’ll crash. And I think it’s a real danger in conservative Christian circles that we just keep going, going, going, doing the Lord’s will, having all the spiritual rationale behind it, and then suddenly finding ourselves completely exhausted.
Refueling is purposefully stopping to evaluate where we are, what we need, and choosing the discipline of self-care, so we don’t get run down and burnt out.
What have you found that fills you? What drains you? What can you do to evaluate how much of each you are intaking, and change that this week?
Refresh: Intro to a Grace-Paced Life.
Rethinking Self-Care. Is it Biblical?
Anne with an E and our Identity Crisis
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