“New Apps”: New Appropriates for Women

Sarah Hudson is guest posting today. She is an “IRL” friend (in real life),  a missionary wife and fellow home schooling mother. (She is also one of the most hospitable people I know, and I am always amazed at how she serves others through hospitality.)

When the kids were little, we approached the topic of modesty with the term “appropriate.“  What a child wears to climb a tree would certainly be different from what she would wear to church on Sunday.  The difference is not mandated merely by “right” and “wrong” attire, but also by an over-riding principle of appropriateness.  Certainly, there are times that clothing choices could bump into the walls of “right” and “wrong,” but for the most part, our battles fell under the broader lines of appropriate dress.

As I have matured in my parenting and my personal walk with God, I have realized how much of our communication also falls into this description of appropriateness.  Certainly, God instructs us about “right” and “wrong” speech.  However, for the most part, our battles fall into the broader lines of appropriateness.

In my simplistic rather non-techy mind, I categorize speech patterns as “New Apps” for women of wisdom.   These are the new appropriates that direct our speech.

First, we must clarify that the Bible itself warns that no person can tame the tongue.  “It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8)  We can never meet God’s standards of appropriate speech through our self-determined efforts.  Only through the righteousness of Christ are we able to use our tongues in a Christ-pleasing, appropriate way.  He stands willing to forgive and also to enable us to have speech that is a life-giving well from those who draw from it (Prov.  10:11).

New Apps

As a mom, the tendency of my everyday speech is corrective, corrective, corrective.  I notice various areas in my children’s character that need change.  I am often magnetic to “corrective” speech.  Perhaps I even take time to speak encouragement when a problem area is improved.  However, my speech is often so focused on problem solving that I neglect the caring, loving exchange that offers a reminder of the sweet relationship I share with my children.  I can train our golden retriever with instructive words and praise, but that does not mean that our hearts connect on a relational level.  I would simply have a well-trained dog.  I can treat my children as well-trained robots, but miss the relationship because of my focus on law and behavior.  How different this is from the way my heavenly Father speaks to me.  He gently instructs my heart regarding change, but He speaks peace and love and security to me.  Appropriate speech is not merely focused on correction, but on a loving relationship.  This “new app” includes kindness, edification, gratitude and love (Eph. 4:29, 32; Prov. 15:4; Eph. 4:15)

My kids enjoy the iphone game app called “Angry Birds.”  Perhaps on a phone, this is great fun.  However, this is not an app that I recommend as part of our Christian speech.  It is not purely what we say, but when and how we say it, that marks appropriate and wise communication. 

When do we speak the truth in love—-in an angry moment? 

How do we speak the truth—-in sarcasm?  

About a year ago, our family got a good laugh about the blond who went into a library and ordered a large fry and a cheeseburger.  When the librarian told her in a hushed voice that it was a library, she merely repeated her order in a whisper.  As women of wisdom, we must not only apply the appropriate “what” of our speech, but also the appropriate “how.” 

• Sometimes we err quite easily on the “TMI” (too much information) side.
• Sometimes we allow creeping overtones of bitterness or disappointment to crowd out edification.
• Sometimes we speak with condemnation instead of grace.
• Sometimes we succumb to the temptation to post proud comments on Facebook or cutting comments via texting.
• Sometimes we sidestep clear Biblical instruction to be thankful and rejoice because we feel that we are the exception in our stressful circumstances (Phil. 4:4, 1 Thess. 5:16-18).

As people consider my speech, I hope I am known for my apps.

May I be known as a woman:

• apt to encourage,
• apt to praise the Lord,
• apt to give thanks, and
• apt to share the gospel.

May my speech be marked by appropriateness in correction and in confrontation.   The woman of wisdom will be equipped with “new apps” that may not make new connections on her cell phone, but will hopefully connect beautifully with those her life may touch.

———————————————————————————————————————–