7 Real-Life Reasons Women’s Blogs Go Cold

Some time back, Tim Challies blogged about some of his favorite blogs for and by women.  We shared several favorites and he mentioned several blogging friends (yay!) but at the end of his article he observed:

I was struck, as I went through all the blogs I follow, how many have gone cold. It may be that there has always been this much attrition in the blogosphere, or it may be that blogging is in decline, having given way to other forms of social media. It is hard to know. But I found a lot of blogs—former favorites—that had not been updated in months. Many of them ended with notes from the author saying that she would return at an undefined point in the future. I wonder how many will.”

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Today, three women bloggers explain why this phenomenon exists. here

I want to share my thoughts on this because women bloggers do bemoan the fact that we don’t write consistently. The topic recently came up in a mastermind group: “How do you find time to write consistently?”

And the answers are always the same:

  • I try to blog once a week, but sometimes I don’t even fit that into my schedule.
  • I try to go to a coffee shop and get a few hours to write, but I’m so exhausted that I sometimes I end up people watching and staring at the pastry case.
  • Life is so busy and the kids come first.

I’m going to throw out several reasons why I don’t always blog and my blog goes “cold.”

1. I sit down to write and one of my kids need me.

This happened twice this week. I finally muster up a thought worthy of penning down and my cell phone rings. It’s one of my college aged daughters calling to chat. I have to decide who gets my time: the blogosphere or my girls. My family wins.

2. I can’t feed my family a blog post. In other words, food has to be made. Really though, it does. And food prep takes time. My husband is always happier when he comes home to a pot roast dinner rather than a finely crafted post, however clever. 🙂

3. Life is unpredictable. I’ve often envied the predictability of my husband’s life. He gets up, goes to the gym or runs, gets ready, and goes to work. He works hard (he works two jobs so that I can be with our kids! Our hero!) but at work he does one thing: work. Then he goes to lunch and does one thing: eat. Although his day is certainly not his own as an employee, his task is singular in nature.

My life, on the other hand, is a little less predictable as any mother knows. Despite attempts at routine, when I get up, I never know what I may find.  I may be greeted by a sick child who is throwing up, or a household problem like the cat who just threw up or worse,  a heater that broke, or lesser crisis like “there’s nothing to eat in the house!” All require my immediate attention. This does not negate my planned daily work, mind you, but simply rearranges it.  I can’t just say, “No, I’m sorry. This problem does not fit into the schedule today. The throw-up stays until tomorrow.”

4. You cannot think, therefore, you cannot write. I’m just gonna say it for those of you who are not home with little kids all day:

Some days the noise is so incessant, between people talking to you, around you, and at you, sometimes two or three at a time, that the mind tends to want to explode, or it shuts down, and it’s hard to process thoughts.”  And all God’s women said, “Amen.”

5. Because of #4, we second guess ourselves, and our sanity, and are less apt to turn thoughts into words.

6. Blogging is not a primary ministry. My real life ministry includes helping Peter in the church, teaching teens and toddlers, encouraging moms, having women in my home, hospitality, visiting the sick. These all take time. Real face-to-face interactions take precedence over the computer.

7. Blogging about “theological things” requires spending lots of time in the Word. You can’t blog about what you haven’t learned yourself. And when time is short, we choose to study.

So, the next time a woman’s blog runs “cold” know this:

We’re caring for kids, changing sheets, cleaning dishes, making meals and packing lunches, trying to memorize Bible verses to keep our sanity and so we can teach our kids. We’re peeling 50 pounds of apples to freeze for the winter, cooking meals and cookies to send to our college students, answering texts from kids who need us now. We’re answering the phone and visiting our authentic community. We’re battling discouragement or loneliness or creating a beautiful day for our kids. We’re encouraging women and mentoring younger moms. We’re studying our husbands to do them good and not harm them.

We may seem a little scattered or inconsistent, but the mom-life is a wonderful life, and although we share a bit of our hearts on line, and are actually surprised when people show up and read our blogs,  our real heart is here in our home.


37 thoughts on “7 Real-Life Reasons Women’s Blogs Go Cold”

  • Well spoken! This brought to mind a poem written by Amy Carmichael, “In Any House”:

    Said one whose yoke
    Was that of common folk,
    Would that I were like Saint Caecilia,
    And could invent some goodly instrument
    Passing all yet contrived to worship Thee,
    And send a love-song singing over land and sea.

    But when I seem
    Almost to touch my dream,
    I hear a call, persistent though so small,
    The which if I ignore, clamours about my door
    And bids me run to meet some human need.
    Meanwhile my dream drifts off like down of thistle seed.

    …A sound of gentle stillness stirred and said,
    My child, be comforted,
    Dear is the offering of melody,
    But dearer far, love’s lowliest ministry.

  • Don’t worry, love God and family first. You can’t share on an empty heart. Blessings. Lovely post 😉

  • This is just right on! The Lord has to be the center (your #7) and then the family. As the mom of three and one married, life is a bit slower, but I still feel the need to slow down with the people I see day after day. These days will never return, so I desire to make the best use of them. Thank you for taking your time to write and affirm these bloggers decisions! Blessings to your family, Sara!

  • What was I going to say? Can’t remember now. It was good, too. Maybe it will come back to me after I choose an exterior paint color for the contractor waiting in the yard– didn’t know he was painting TODAY– but first things first– must check on my son before I start messing with fandecks to make sure he’s still on task with algebra… shoulda chosen that paint chip yesterday but had to rush to the park to take belly pics of my daughter before she goes into labor and it’s too late and when we got through it was dinner time and then after dishes it was too dark to choose paint outside. Oh wait, I have to slip out to fill the gas tank Right Now so we can get to son’s out-of-town doubleheader on time this afternoon…. maybe I’ll remember the astute comment I was going to make about my cold blog, the one I started back in 2005 when my kids were getting past the little munchkin age and so I thought ahhhhh I finally had an opportunity to write again after a decade of keeping toddlers alive every minute… thought things would ease up when I sold all the baby equipment… Anyway, maybe I’ll remember that profound thing I was going to say here while I’m driving carpool to the doubleheader in a bit. If so, I will comment from the bleachers on my phone and try to make it look like I’m taking pics of my son playing, so nobody gets huffy about mom not watching every pitch and keeping track of game stats. Because when teenagers get huffy, ya hafta stop and deal and then there’s no time to go to the store and we all have to get ready to go out for dinner. Oh hey, maybe I’ll remember during dinner. But we have a no-gadgets-at-the-table rule, trying to teach those kids good life habits every minute ya know, so I’ll have to slip away and comment from the bathroom stall… Oh sorry, I’m blithering now. Wait, what was the topic again? Oh yikes bye I think my daughter (not the one nine months pregnant- no, the other one, who is taking sabbatical from college this year and moved back home because she needs time to chill and think about her life- yeah, she moved into THIS house to THINK bwah hahaha- anyway I think she just caught her hair on fire with a candle on her way to take a long bath. Maybe I’ll blog about THAT– no wait– sorry, she told me not to blog about her misadventures because she’s “not like twelve anymore, okay?” Even though she still accidentally lights her hair on fire and stuff. Oh yikes, doorbell, forgot the contractor is still outside waiting phone dying anyway bye

  • You did an outstanding job of explaining this! And it resonates with me as to why I don’t blog much anymore. After losing my brother unexpectedly in March, blogging is not a priority for me anymore. Spending time with family, friends, and my Lord are my top priorities.

    Thanks for posting this. I’m going to link to it from my blog.

    • Oh, yes. There are certainly seasons. You have to do what is right in front of you at the moment. So sorry about the loss of your brother. That must be so hard. 🙁

  • Thanks so much for this post. Although I don’t blog (I would love to!), I feel like this is highly applicable for things other than blogging! So many things I can fill my time with, but it does come down to this list of seven. Thanks for addressing right priorities!

  • I’m here from Challies and a big “yes and amen” to all that you’ve written! I actually wrote something similar, not so much in terms of women blogging (or not) but in terms of real life ministry to real live people trumping the virtual. The virtual not being unimportant, you understand, just not primary, as you stated so well here. My post, it never got published because, well, you know, blog = cold. 😉

  • Reasons why my non-theological blog has gone a bit cold – 1. I am catching up on scrapbooks for 10 years of photos for three boys. 2. I am hand making Christmas cards to send out. 3. I am helping coach soccer. 4. I am taking my oldest child to the orthodontist. 5. I am redoing my entire front flower bed. 6. Everything you said, especially number 2. The family needs food every night, not to mention clean clothes!! Thanks for posting!

    • Oh!! You sound like you are living a very fun, artsy life!! I should have added that half the time I choose to paint and read instead of write. 🙂

  • This is great! All of these are exactly why I don’t blog cconsistently. Also learning balance, I don’t necessarily desire all of my margins taken up with work. I want to be free to sit, exercise, not think. ; ) Great list!

    • Yup. There’s no one prioritizing life for us! I’m glad we get to make these choices, so we can do what we believe is best for everyone on a daily basis.

  • So very true, Sarah! My own blog [which is not theological] has gone a bit “dim” of late, and it’s mostly because of eldercare and also because, as you put it so well, my blog is not my primary ministry. I teach ladies in Sunday School and I have to study faithfully and diligently to stay a lesson or two ahead. Thanks for sharing these excellent thoughts!

  • Sarah, this was fantastic. The very same reasons my own blog is cold. Also…seasons change. When I was serious about blogging I had 2 less children, and also three have since grown into their teen years, a time that requires even more shepherding. Thank you so much for taking your precious time to encourage others online.

    • And it gets more complicated when they are away at school because you want to keep up communications and many times it is on their time schedule…which is usually LATE at night when you are tired. 🙂

  • This was so worth reading. I read your blog because of all your reason’s for not writing! You are a real wife, mom, fellow Christian, ministry wife …and you get it. Who is Tim Challies btw? Ha, ha…jk. I hope He gets to read this blog post so he can “get it” too. : ) I’m glad you don’t post everyday because I can only choose to take the time to read so many blogs….it gives me a chance to not miss your post of the day if I choose to read another blogger’s post on the days that you don’t post something new.

  • This is so true. I wrote 5 days a week for 2 years, but this summer I needed to cut back. I am running a business, which requires a lot of computer time and even some creative writing, and I just didn’t have time for 5 posts a week anymore. Currently I post Tuesday-Friday, and it is working pretty well. I must also say that last week was the first week in months that I actually wrote 4 days that week. Wrote, not just posted. I feel like I am finally getting into the school groove and out of the summer tri practice groove, and it is allowing me more time for writing.

  • Thank you, Sarah! Excellently put! Thank you for the time you spent in putting out this bit of encouragement to those who you don’t know personally but are very happy to connect with you. I can totally relate to each of your points, including a husband that works more than one job so I can do what is needful at home with the kids and with my parents. Blessings on your day!

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