Where Are The Titus 2 Women?

Last night I spoke to a sweet group of home schooling moms about the topic of Keeping Your Devotional Life devotional. I was so encouraged by their desire to teach their children God’s word. We sat and chatted afterwards and as we spoke, the “topic” came up. Titus 2 mentoring. These young women are raising families and they are looking for flesh and blood women who have “been there, done that” to walk beside them and give them guidance. Unfortunately, they are coming up short.

Titus 2 mentoring is not optional. Ladies, this is part of our calling.

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It does not need to take place in a classroom. It can take place in your home, in the car, as you grab a coffee or run an errand. You just need to be available, and willing to answer questions and offer suggestions when asked. This is not rocket science. And there is a reason that this needs to be done: so that God’s word will not be maligned. Maligning someone is saying something evil about them–not necessarily a lie, just something wicked.

What do you need to be a mentor?

1. The desire to be obedient.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.

 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands,

so that no one will malign the word of God.

2. A good testimony reverent in the way they live- this means you take seriously the commands of scripture and you live in a way that is Christ-like. You aren’t perfect, but you are sold out to Christ, dedicated and striving to do right. You are literally his servant, doing His will and not your own. (and by the way, when you blow it, you make restoration, for the sake of your own testimony and for the sake of Christ.)

3. Time- it takes time. Just do it.

4. Grace, humility, meekness- You don’t have all the answers and maybe you have done things wrong. Be honest and transparent with your sisters in Christ. Apart from grace, you would be nothing. And without humility, you are nothing, and God resists you. You received with meekness the engrafted word which was able to save your souls, and now you teach with meekness and instruct from the posture of humility.

Older ladies, don’t be afraid.

If God puts a younger mother in your path, help her!

For extra reading on the subject of Titus Two mentoring, may I suggest these that I have found the most helpful?

Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Model for Women Mentoring Women by Susan Hunt.

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney

Part Two:Where Are The Titus 2 Women? 

33 comments

  1. E. Johnson says:

    And not just mothers! Unmarried women and married-without-kids-women need this desperately too! And can I add, if you need a Titus 2 mentor, don’t be afraid to ask someone else. I recently asked our pastor’s wife to do this with me, and she was overjoyed to enter into that relationship with me.

    • SJBeals says:

      You are right, it is not just for mothers! So glad you found a willing woman, Elizabeth, and that you had the courage to ask someone! :)

  2. Teri Johnson says:

    We NEED others! I have 2 amazing “wise” mentors in my life that guide me…each bless me in a unique way. I, in turn, mentor a couple of women…this too blesses me. When we give, we receive and learn and grow.

    My prayer is always to have God lead me, direct my path and allow me to be a light into the lives of others. I believe that “mentoring” can be unintentional as we shine our lights — we never know who’s watching.

    Thank you for sharing this post with me.

    Keeping it Personal,
    Teri Johnson

    • SJBeals says:

      YES, and AMEN Teri. We do need the blessings of receiving help and then giving help. And, true, our lives are our living advertisement for Christ…the thing that draws other women to us in the first place.

  3. Victoria says:

    As a mom who has lost her mother, I am hungry for an older woman to come along side me, and as a middle-aged woman and mom, I would love for God to place a younger woman in my life. What an honor that God would trust me with one of His precious daughters. I have told God that I am willing to both give and receive this magnificent gift… we shall see where He leads… Thank you for posting.

  4. Liz says:

    I totally wish I lived near you folks. I would love to be a part of a group where there are strong Christian mothers who would mentor the younger ladies. :) I guess I will just have to settle for continued reading of your blog. :) That is nice, too.

  5. Karen Todd says:

    Excellent post! Praise God who is wise! As a mom of 6, a woman of 52 years and a Pastor’s wife, I can tell you that not only will you bless the young women that the Lord sends your way, but you will be tremendously blessed by them! Older woman need younger women to keep them young, fresh and challenged. I know I haven’t regretted it!

    • SJBeals says:

      Yes, and perhaps nobody wants to think of themselves as older, but we are all older than somebody. And yes, the younger women keep up fresh and challenged. Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Shari says:

    I agree! I always wondered where the Titus 2 women were when I was a thirty-something mom. Now that I’m a forty-something woman, I realize something. We’re just missing each other. I know I was the same way in my thirties, confident, self-assured, energetic, looking like I had all the answers — that was before all the humbling mistakes! We can’t wait for them to seek us out — we have to find them, and love them, and be there for them — a safe place for when they feel comfortable enough to ask the vulnerable questions. We do have a lot to offer, even if they are more techo-savvy and more socially-connected!

  7. tmichelle1e says:

    I would absolutely love to have a Titus 2 mentor. I have had several older friends through the years but not mentors. I have enjoyed mentoring younger girls but I really am desperate for some older Godly women to help me make good decisions and love my husband and children.

  8. Monica says:

    As a fairly young, and pretty inexperienced housewife I agree with this post wholeheartedly! I am an accidental housewife, and although my mom stayed at home raising her children, I have felt very lost in this journey. I hope to find a Titus 2 lady soon to help me in my walk.

  9. Becky says:

    What an important reminder! I’m currently reading Treasures of Encouragement by Sharon Betters which speaks about spiritual mothering and reaching out to other women. I think sometimes it really is as simple as listening to the Spirit’s prompting when a thought enters our mind, “I should do such and such to encourage my friend.” It’s convicting when I think about how many times an idea like that has entered my mind and I have not acted on it! :-(

    • SJBeals says:

      Becky, yes! Sometimes the Holy Spirit brings someone to mind and when you follow up with them, you find that indeed, they do need your encouragement!! This happened to me just last week. I was praying, ended up sitting with a friend, and sure enough, they were struggling and needed a listening ear. They sought counsel, not because I am so wise, but because they know that I loved them by my deeds(calling, checking in.) So we were both blessed. Having a testimony that is gentle and approachable is a must, per Elizabeth George. People will not feel safe enough to come and seek help from someone who is moody one day, sweet the next, then irritable again. :) It is also important to be in a mindset of prayer and service to others…so that we are more apt to jump in and say “yes” when that prompting comes. So glad you stopped by.

      • Anisha says:

        Yes, we use the term. My wife and I consider Tony and Jenni Garcia our spiaiturl mother and father.I was saved under their ministry and my wife had been mentored by them for about 3 years before I came along. As a boy growing up without a father, Tony has shown me what it truly means to be a man of God.Honestly its hard to explain the difference between a mentor and spiaiturl father. I have about 7 people in my life that I would call a mentor but only one spiaiturl mother and father, it’s a deeper since of connection with the my spiaiturl parents.The best way to explain it, would be like the difference between having a brother or sister and your best friend. As close as you and your best friend my be that person would never be a close as you and your sibling (I’m assuming this relationship is good :-)) The best friend can be as close as a brother but there is a deeper connection with blood.That’s how I feel about mentors= the best friend and spiaiturl fathers/mothers=your sibling.that’s just my two cents, hope it makes sense :-)

    • Jonalyn says:

      I have used this term to describe a godly man the Lord plecad in my life, though I’m not sure where I first learned of the concept. He was a picture of God’s love to me during some difficult years in my life, and for many years since then. He taught me so much about what a servant of the Lord should be. He was a consistent, loving influence throughout some very crucial times, He had such an impact on my life, that although we lived in different states he and his wife made the trip so that he could be the one to marry my husband and I. Although I love my natural dad very much, this man provided the spiritual example of what a man of God is like. I would say, without a doubt, having his influence in my life was a major contributor to my going into ministry full time. He has lived his life with integrity and is a great example of how to serve in full time ministry while keeping your family intact, well rounded and healthy. I hope look back at my life, decades from now, and see a legacy that is like the one this man has left. What a blessing!

  10. Michelle says:

    Thanks Sarah, for being a TItus 2 woman and taking to time to blog about your journey. Your insights and thoughts have been really encouraging to me as I adapt to a new home, culture, and ministry!

    • SJBeals says:

      Michelle, I think of you often when I read my Home Comforts book and I remember to pray for you! I am praying that your transition is a smooth one and that God blesses you and your family as you serve him!

  11. Crystal says:

    This is a great reminder. Being a Titus 2 lady requires an investment of time. That means I must keep myself available (and…it must also mean that we are in the WORD). Unfortunately, this can also involve heartache, as you invest hours and hours into someone’s life only to have them go their own way anyway, maybe even back-stabbing you. It doesn’t matter. It is not done for the accolades you get, or for popularity. It is done for the LORD. I have come across older ladies who have said, “I’ve done my time. Let someone else do the teaching.” Where is this in Scripture? Now is definitely the time to invest in younger ladies yearning to glean from your wisdom!

    On the flip side, it also means that I must be teachable if I am wanting to grow from someone who is more wise and godly than I. I have also come across young ladies who are not teachable, never ask for advice and seclude themselves with other ladies their own age. Sometimes is means swallowing our own pride, admitting we don’t have all of the answers, and stretch our our necks and ask someone for help (being willing to consider their advice!).

    Thank you, Sarah, for your investment in writing on this blog! It is a great source of encouragement and…sometimes…I need to put on my steel-toed shoes. Ouch! :)

    • SJBeals says:

      Crystal, I really can understand how older ladies feel as though they have done their time and now want to rest. I am tired and I am not old. :) But, if we view each other as a family, and have that kind of love for others, which by the way is a supernatural love from the Spirit, we will invest. None of us can teach everyone, but we should be able to think of several people we are meeting one on one with, in order to encourage them. This is personal, quality time, and it is specifically intended for those who lack help from a godly older biological mother. Obviously, a godly bio mother would invest in her own daughters first! That would be the priority. So, It is about building relationships and confidence and giving guidance to those who need it, so that they will walk the road of faith that God intended them to walk. So glad you stopped by. :)

  12. Cheryl says:

    Absolutely! I am thankful for the many women in my life both young and old that are willing to invest in my life and the lives of my children. You are right to say it’s not optional. Thank you for sharing!

  13. Randi says:

    This is a great post. Thank you for writing it. I’m finding that living as a Titus 2 woman is sacrificial. Even in the church being a woman who intends to invest herself in the life of those younger (albeit spiritually) isn’t necessarily what people are looking for. But I appreciate your words, they are right on and we need to keep teaching this!

  14. Grisel says:

    Great post. I have found that God has put younger women in my life to mentor and I really enjoy it. I feel priviledged to be there and share my experiences and listen to theirs. I also feel that I am blessed because of it.

    At 39 and with five kids, I too can use an older woman mentor. I’ve always kept to myself, but I’ve come to treasure the heartfelt woman to woman talks.
    Thanks for posting!

  15. I can not, do not, want to imagine where I would be today with out the Godly women who have taken precious time out of their own lives to mentor me through the years. I am a “Bit” older now, but would be considered a “young” mom because I have a five year old. I need other moms, who I respect, who I know love the Lord. They have encouraged me, shown me where to go in scripture, shown me where I was wrong. Thank the Lord for women who step out of their lives and sometimes comfort zones to give encouragement, Godly advise, and time to other women who are growing as Christians, moms, wives, sisters, teenagers ect. I want to be this person for someone! and count it a true blessing when I get to.

  16. Our church has a mentoring program set up and I joined as a mentor even though I am only 28. I am actually paired with someone older than me. It’s awkward but I know that I am being obedient to the Lord. This woman stays at home with her daughter too and all of the other mentors in my training class were career women. There was also part of the class that tells the “older women” how to get their mentee to find childcare during their 1 hour a week+ sessions. I found this offensive. I am committed for 6 months and am hoping I learn a lot in the process.

  17. Anna C. says:

    This is a beautiful thing in the context of a church (local assembly). That’s what Paul was talking about.

  18. Bambi says:

    Such a wonderful, true word dear Sister. And the comments have blessed and inspired me equally as much.

    In my early 20’s, when the Lord saved me and I began to look at womanhood through a Biblical lens, there was NOONE for me to learn from. I was mentored by the writings of Elisabeth Elliot and others. Now in my 30’s with two teen daughters, and 6 others, I know I am first of all *their* mentor. Yet I still feel so inadequate and the older Christian women I know offer very little support :( I am thankful for wise ladies that share their lives online, and continue to pray/seek an older woman for myself, as well as be one to others.

    Thank you again for your post :)

  19. […] Where Are The Titus 2 Women? @ Joy-Filled Days Blog {excellent… because I need them and I need to be one!} […]

  20. […] received a lot of feedback on my article “Where Are The Titus 2 Women” and I am hoping to answer some of the questions that seem to be plaguing […]

  21. Ashlie says:

    Hi Sarah – I read your Titus 2 Women article last week while on vacation and have been meaning to comment. :) Loved this post and the one you wrote to follow it up!

    Thank you so much for broaching a topic that is DESPERATELY needed. I am 26 years old and while I’m blessed with a wonderful Godly mom, I have never really had a Christian woman mentor…but it’s not for lack of trying to find one! There are a couple of women in our church who do this, but they are on overload with many young women who are new believers. There doesn’t seem to be anyone left for those of us who are wives, mommies, and who already seek the Lord but just need encouragement, guidance, a prayer/accountability partner through it all.

    What I wouldn’t give to have an older woman who has all of the qualities you’ve written of – just to sit at her feet, glean wisdom, and GET HELP when I’m feeling crazy. :) My husband and I are involved in the young adults ministry at our church, so I have the opportunity to mentor and encourage some of those young women as the Lord leads. It’s been difficult, however, without someone to go to myself.

    I pray you continue to be used to speak/write about this, as the Lord leads. I love your heart and the way He uses you to write the truth in love. :-)

    Blessings,
    Ashlie

    • SJBeals says:

      Ashlie, I will be praying that God sends you that woman! Sometimes, the need is just someone to bounce your parenting ideas and struggles off of, and to get that older woman’s perspective. Not that I am an older woman, mind you! (ahem!) I also had two godly mothers, but sometime “grandmother love” took over during times when I needed advice on discipline and of course the grandmothers believed that the kids were angels. :) Not really objective. ha,ha
      I am so glad you stopped by! God Bless you!

  22. Johanna says:

    Wouldn’t it be awesome to create groups out of this blog readers…? Maybe it already exists? I live in Carmel, Indiana, by the way.