Raising kids. Keeping House. Choosing joy, every day.

Thoughts on Friendship from Me and C.S. Lewis

Today seemed like a holiday. A mini-vacation.

My friend Shana asked me to go over for lunch. We are both in the same season of life, each of us with a child away right now: hers in military training and mine in Germany.

Our kids are the same ages and have grown up together. I have pictures of our oldest kids together in their feety pajamas. It seems like just yesterday we were talking about child training, sippy cups and potty training.

But today we talked of children leaving home. We shared our struggles and confided fears. For me, Shana is a safe person to talk to. She has a kind heart that trusts God. She is always gracious and wise with her mouth. Her life honors God and blesses mine. Sitting on her front porch in the sun, chatting away and philosophizing did my heart good.

Then tonight I had one on one time with my sweet twelve-year-old, Holly. We went to the Christmas Tree Shop and bought silly things. She wanted a mood ring and flip-flops. I wanted a Turbie Twist and napkins.

My Holly Dolly

We went out for supper and she told me about her friendships and favorite things to do. Later we watched the stars. She thanked me for “all the stuff I bought her” and told me that she loved being alone with me. She is at a wonderful age, so full of questions and laughter. In her eyes, the world hold nothing but hope right now. I have no intention of shattering that perception. There will be time for reality later on. For now, I’ll let her dream and chatter on about her little friends.

Friendships are one of God’s best gifts. Iron does indeed sharpen iron. God taught us how to love and He calls us friends. He intends for us to pour our lives and hearts into others and tells us to love as He loved.

Nurture your godly friendships. Don’t be afraid to love and share your heart. There is always risk in any relationship, but that is okay. You can’t help but pity people who have never had true friendships because they are so touchy, moody, sensitive or combative: just plain selfish. They usually end up alone and lonely as a result.

C.S. Lewis said it best:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

 

Have you thanked God for your friendships? Are you friendly? Are people better for having known you? Or are you someone that people avoid because they never know what they are going to get with you? What changes can you make today to be a better friend?