The sky is falling, the world is horrible, and GASP, your Facebook “friends” are frauds.

Oh my goodness. As it turns out, this world is really more horrible than once thought.

A new study circulating the internet shows that your FACEBOOK FRIENDS ARE ALL A BUNCH OF FRAUDS AND COULD NOT CARE A STITCH ABOUT YOU.

“Facebook Friends Are Fake, Study Finds.”<—You can read all the depressing but true details here.

Here we all were, accepting friends requests like drunken sailors and now it turns out that ALL these people don’t care about us.

You have no friends. Just four. Probably five if you count your own mother. Six if you count great Aunt Gertrude.

And don’t even think about considering your PETS as friends, because, WHATEVER.

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Honestly, how could we have been so dumb? It’s like we got on this social train of an experiment and we were all duped into thinking that our third grade playmate really had an ounce of affection for us, but turns out, in crisis, she could care less. And if you wouldn’t ask your book club members to, say, pick up a prescription or drive you to the hospital or airport, then, you fool, THEY WERE NEVER YOUR TRUE FRIENDS. Awesome.

Okay. Let’s just tinder down a minute and think about friends.

I can promise you that, unless you are friend-ing absolute demons on FB, that your friends DO care about you and WOULD help you IF YOU ASKED THEM.

Here’s the thing. Just because we have different levels of friendship doesn’t mean that they don’t care. And because I wouldn’t inconvenience you by asking you to drive me to the airport unless you were my parent or sister, doesn’t mean that we aren’t friends.

Let’s define friend, shall we?

  • a person who you like and enjoy being with.

  •  a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)

  • a favored companion

Now then, we have all kinds of friends: neighbors, acquaintances, our church congregation, people who work on projects or ministries together, our kid’s friend’s parents, our kid’s friends, people we know from town, people in support groups for illness or homeschooling. Maybe we are separated by an ocean, and we really don’t have the chance to get together, but that doesn’t mean you don’t care about me. Maybe our stage of life keeps us from meeting up more than we do, but that doesn’t mean I assume you aren’t really my friend.

In fact, I know that if money was no limit, I would FLY to visit many of my friends, because I value our friendship and wish we could spend more time together.

But there’s this thing called common sense that says that I call my mother for help before I call my neighbor, no matter how friendly we might be. And, actually Dunbar’s observations make absolute sense:

  • my “closest friends” (which are usually family) number about 5.
  • the people I could/would confide in for sympathy/help when I need it is about 15.
  • the people I would invite to a dinner party at my house numbers about 50.

But this doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t LOVE and totally enjoy going out for coffee with any of my Facebook friends. If you are really a demon, I’m not going to friend you in the first place. And just because I wouldn’t ask you to pick up my anti-nausea meds at the pharmacy for me, doesn’t mean that we aren’t real friends or that I don’t care about you.

If you believe that your FB friends are not really your friends, then they probably aren’t. Know–this is not a reflection on them, though. It’s more about friendship being a two way street.

For the rest of us, we choose to believe the best about others.

And, for the record,  if we are friends on Facebook, however casually, and you DID need me to help you, if I could, I absolutely would.

And I choose to believe the same about you, too, friend.

 

 

 

 



7 thoughts on “The sky is falling, the world is horrible, and GASP, your Facebook “friends” are frauds.”

  • You have a kind, servant’s heart, Sarah, and I’m so thankful for how you’ve been a far yet near friend to me with your Titus 2 wisdom and mentoring 🙂 I want to be like you when I grow up 🙂 Hugs from Texas!

  • Sara thank you for that it is true i feel people on my face book are friends and if any need help and i could i would help i pray for them and when i see them going threw some thing i feel empathy for them some of them yes i would tell my secrets to and most not but care for them all and i feel God has blessed me with each and every one of them

    • Yes, we can pray and encourage from a far. My friend was just telling me how much a FB group for people with a rare disease had encouraged her and shown her compassion. Friends are a gift!

  • This is so good, Sarah! Facebook has allowed me to be in touch with people I otherwise would hardly ever hear from. I can encourage them, make them smile, and pray for them because I know at least a little of what is going on in their lives. And sometimes you make connections with people you’ve never met … like when a Nebraska girl meets a New England girl in an online bible study. 🙂 Your posts and photos brighten my day on a regular basis.

    And on a really serious note — a woman who was a classmate of mine in Jr. High but then moved away is a FB friend with many from my class/hometown. Just over a year ago, she lost her oldest son (25 yo) and two grandchildren in a tragic house fire. No, I couldn’t go to Ohio and attend the funerals or make meals or do the things I would do for any local friends that were in such need. But I, and many of my classmates, prayed like crazy for her and sent messages of encouragement. She posts a daily list of observations, and we let her know we are listening. I can’t help but think that we have “been there” for her in a way that would have been impossible before FB.

    • I’m glad this site encourages you, Sara. 🙂 Social media is a wonderful tool! When I think of all the people who prayed for Addy because of social media, I get teary eyed. I love online studies and my writing groups. It’s a great way to meet gifted people and to be encouraged. Thankful for you, Sara!!

  • That’s exactly how I look on my on-line connections with people too, Sarah. You said ti a lot better than I ever could,

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