Tag Archive for tantrums

Is Your Child Delusional?

If you have ever spent time with young children, you quickly realize that every child is under a delusion. It is the delusion that life should work their way.

It begins in the toddler years, when a one cherub wants a toy that the other one has. They take it, because they want it and believe they should have it. They fight, hit and bite when another child takes the toy back, because of course, he wanted it too.

Toddlers are under a delusion. They believe that they should have what they want, when they want it, and how they want it.

You see, each child believes that they are a little king and that life in their imaginary kingdom should work the way that they want it to. They have no higher agenda than their own personal happiness. They have selfish demands and they’ll do whatever it takes to feed those desires. Pouting, tantrums, hitting and anger are all ways that they manipulate to get their own way. They are self serving and want others to serve them as well(by the way, I am not just picking on toddlers. Many adults act this way too, unfortunately-minus the biting.)

They are building little kingdoms for themselves and it is our job to teach them to build God’s kingdom.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 teaches us that God died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised.

Every action of selfishness and self serving needs to be confronted with the gospel. We were once serving sin and self, but now we are serving another King. If we try to explain their behavior away or worse, if we give into their demands, we are actually cementing them into their own delusion.

It is easy in the mundane to fail to see the bigger picture behind our kids bad/sinful behavior.

  • Sin causes all of us to be self focused and self oriented, instead of God and others focused.
  • Sin causes us to want others to love us as much as we love ourselves, instead of being humble and loving God and others first.
  • Sin causes us to view people as either a “way to get what we want” or an obstacle “in the way of what we want.”

Don’t just look at your child’s negative behavior and scold about that. Look deeper. Ask them what they loved most when they decided to sin. Ask them why they thought that sinning to get what they wanted was okay. Whose kingdom are they trying to advance?

Moms, especially if you have teens, these discussions should be frequent as you disciple your teen daughter or son. Help them to understand their own heart. Let them know that you understand their struggle, because it is also your own struggle. Weeding out our sinful desires is part of the sanctification process.

Linked to Courtney here

A Little Secret for Moms

The beautiful Gerber baby!

This is a post dedicated to mothers of young children–babies and toddlers, to be precise.

I have a little secret to tell you…

Being a mother is hard. It is the hardest job you will ever do.

Babies don’t come with manuals. Sometimes the “maternal instinct” that you hear about is slow to kick in.

Sometimes you can’t differentiate between their cries. Sometimes breastfeeding is a nightmare. Sometimes you can’t get them to nap, to try new foods, to stop taking tantrums, to stop hitting or pulling hair, or to potty train. The list could go on!

It is easy to enter despair mode.

Here are five suggestions to keep you from loosing your mind:

1. Keep your eyes open for a Mom who is doing it right in your opinion and ask for help! Most older mothers are happy to empathize with and encourage a younger mom who wants to do things “right”, but lacks the self confidence or know– how. The time spent with another mom can only encourage you and sharpen your parenting skills!
2. Evaluate your goals. Your kids will not be perfect! Children are not “self-parenting” and this is why God gave kids parents. :)

Kids will throw tantrums and will need your intervention. Kids will bite and pull hair and need to be told “No!”  It is easy to think “We just went over that!! Why isn’t this kid getting this?’”

Instead, think “Assembly Line Parenting”, and expect to do the same thing over.and.over.and.over again in order to cement principles and teach. :)

3. Do not live for your child. Your child is a wonderful addition to your world, but should never be the epicenter of it. Make time out with friends, and plan for dates with Dad. If you can’t get out, nap time should be your time of solitude. Time alone with your thoughts in quietness is essential to evaluate where you are going and how you will get there.

4. Don’t neglect your Bible reading and prayer time. Even if it is ever so short, something is better than nothing. Can you spare three to five minutes? Get a devotional for busy mothers and take care of your soul.
5. Don’t seek security in methods. Each child is so different. Be consistent, seek God’s word and humbly ask for help!  “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” “If any of you lack wisdom, let Him ask of God, who giveth liberally…”  God will give you the grace to do the job He has called you to do!!

Older mothers, what advice would you add to this list?