Tag Archive for mother’s day

Lessons You Learn by Becoming A Mother

Motherhood has a way of teaching us surprising lessons.

It challenges pre-conceived notions about life.

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Motherhood is both wonderful and exhausting, exciting and mundane.

The emotions of motherhood, the highs and lows and the rate they change, cannot be tallied or tracked on paper. How can someone I love so much frustrate me this much!? How can I be worried so much about someone who has a total mass of less than 25 lbs!?  I’m not being dramatic. The love a mother has for her children cannot be exaggerated. Still, even the most observant mothers need to experience certain things in order to fully understand.

For instance, if you thought that a normal bedtime was 7 p.m., you’d be wrong. That’s apparently THE VERY HOUR when children become scared, hungry, interested in books, and downright thirsty. Oh, then they need to use the bathroom.

If you thought 7 a.m. was the normal time to “rise and shine”, you’re wrong again. The ideal time to rise is based on the first rays of light coming through the window. Room darkening shades are a TOTAL waste of money.

If you thought that toddler’s tantrums were based on reality or reason, I don’t even know what to tell you, except you need to spend more time with kids. Tantrums, as it turns out, are based on perception of extreme mistreatment and injustice like the wrong colored sippy cup being administered, the wrong drink IN the sippy cup, the wrong character on the cup, or the wrong person handing them the cup.

Tantrums can be triggered by the desire to NOT wear a jacket, the mention of going to the store, not being allowed to buy candy once inside said store, being buckled into a car seat, or simply the urge to go outside right.at.this.very.moment even though it’s only 5 a.m.

Watching a tantrum is like watching a writhing, shrieking, sobbing contortionist performing his final act.

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Children will embarrass you. They’ll point out people’s worst features –in front of them– at loud decibels– whilst pointing. Subtlety is not a strength.

You learn that toddlers’ appetites are unpredictable. They refuse to eat one day, causing you to panic and take temperatures. “You have to eat, or you’ll get sick! Wait, are you sick!?” 

Oh, and food tastes change dramatically as well. On Monday they love carrots, and the next day, NEWSFLASH, all that has changed and they are willing to DEFY THE WORLD in order to not have to eat them at dinner time.

As they grow, the lessons are less obvious and take more time to learn.

You’ll learn the delicate balance of letting go during those tricky years between 11-18 when normal things become slightly embarrassing like kissing them in front of their friends, wiping their face in front of their friends, and reminding them of the family rules in front of their friends.

You learn that sometimes they really need to talk to their mother and sometimes they don’t. You learn to be perceptive to these times so you don’t miss them.

You learn that sometimes you need to let them fail in order to learn the lessons that will help them become responsible adults. And when they do fail, your mom-heart breaks as much as theirs. Conversely, when they succeed, your heart bursts with pride and excitement.

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You learn that Time has a way of showing up and declaring “The End” to the childhood phase all together.

As they leave, you’ll learn that they take pieces of your heart with them out the door on their journey.

As they leave, you’ll look back fondly on the days when the scuffle of feety pajamas on the wooden floor broke the 5 a.m. morning silence. (You might not even mind recalling the sound of tantrums.)

You realize that time was precious and memories were made in the midst of what seemed like the mundane whirl of family chaos: running to lessons, buttoning jackets, combing hair, family meal time, working on homework, games in the yard, snuggling to watch a movie, or family pizza night.

Moms, the “ordinary days” were actually an extraordinary gift from God.

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Motherhood is a gift, every stage of it.

I’m so thankful for that gift, and for my children, who taught me so much and still teach me every day!

When Dreams For My Kids Fall Short

“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” That quote used to bring me comfort, on the days when I didn’t feel like much, rocking babies in my comfy pants and t-shirt. The idea of influencing a generation and changing the world for the better took the sting out of the late night feedings and spit up on my shoulder.

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In the early years of motherhood, despite exhaustion and repetition, I had dreams for my kids. I wanted them to be better than I was. I wanted them to be well rounded, happy, healthy, and I wanted to give them the tools and education they needed to change their own little corner of the world for better.

All good things, but my dreams were shallow and fell short and missed the grand goal of them savoring and cherishing Christ.

Oh, I wanted them to know Christ. I taught them to fold their little hands and say grace, we learned portions of scripture together, prayed for missionaries, sang songs, and went to all the church services. From the outside looking in, you would have called me ultra-faithful in the training department, but when Christ is not the “end all” in your own life, the truth is He’s just an “add on” –and that is always a confusing, strange, unstable mix. (You’ll know He’s an “add on” when your true god is rivaled or taken away. You still have Christ, but you’re pining away after the reigning god at the moment.)

Thank God that dreams change. When Christ is all-in-all, everything else is a nice add on, but not mandatory.

Now, I just want them to be whole in Christ.

I want them to be happy in the present, no matter where life that finds them. I want them to be able to look through the hardship and see the Source and count it a blessing.

I no longer try to keep things neat and safe for them, because I’ve learned that I can’t pass my faith on to them through my experiences or via a sterile environment. I can point them to Christ and trust the Holy Spirit to do a work in them. They have to walk the life of faith on their own, and without adversity, hardships, temptations, and trials, there would be no need for faith.

I want them to be content in the midst of crisis, because our happiness is not dependent on our circumstances and I want them to know first hand that God is more than enough comfort when trials come.

I want them to cultivate confidence in their own relationship with God, and I want them to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit when He prompts them to pray or abstain from sin, or to evangelize.

When life is unmanageable and uncontrollable, I want them to grasp God’s promises with their own two hands and never let go. And they can’t do that void of trouble.

I’m not wishing hardship on them, don’t get me wrong. But if hardship is necessary to bring them closer and nearer to Christ, then that is okay, because this world is not the end all.

Christ is the end all, and He desires for His kids to see and know Him more than I do.

What can a mom do? You can faithfully teach and look for opportunities to point them to the good news of the gospel.

And you can pray along with Jesus for them–

John 17:9,15,17::  I pray for them… for they are thine. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.

 “God is the highest good of the reasonable creature. The enjoyment of him is our proper; and is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied. To go to heaven, fully to enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here. Better than fathers and mothers, husbands, wives, or children, or the company of any, or all earthly friends. These are but shadows; but the enjoyment of God is the substance. These are but scattered beams; but God is the sun. These are but streams; but God is the fountain. These are but drops, but God is the ocean.” 
― Jonathan Edwards,