Tag Archive for depression

Straight Talk About Renewing Your Mind

Maybe you assume that because my blog is named Joy-Filled Days, that I am naturally a half-glass full, Pollyanna type who always sees the good in everyone and everything. That is not true. You know from reading here that choosing joy is a choice I have to make, and by God’s grace I have.

Maybe you didn’t know that I sometimes struggle with my thought life. Discouragement lurks in the corners of my heart, and I’m not alone in this struggle, and neither are you.

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We see many examples in scripture of godly men like Job and David who struggled with low thoughts as well, prompting Job to write “Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?” and David to write “”Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears” (Psalm 6:2-3, 6). 

{This post is about temporary depression or discouragement, not clinical depression.}

I’ve had to learn to examine my thoughts, especially when it comes to my children. I can be washing the dishes, and in ten seconds in the theater of my mind I will have played out a worst case scenario: a child drowning or being abducted. I’ve parented from a place of fear because of these tendencies, believing the lie that I could somehow shield my kids from all evil if I were vigilant enough. Of course, this is a burden reserved for God alone and one that I was never meant to carry.

I’ve learned that what I dwell upon greatly helps or hinders my emotional and spiritual well-being.

God, in His mercy, has taught me a few things about the importance of renewing my mind and that’s what I intend to share with you today. I’ll warn you, I have to be hard with myself. It is a battle, so if these things seem harsh, I apologize. I’m usually hard on myself and easier on others and don’t intend to burden you at all. If this helps you, great. If it doesn’t, and maybe you’d benefit from another approach to renewing your mind, feel free to do what works for you! The end goal is renewing your mind, not following my steps  Whatever approach you take, the battle can only be won through the help of the Holy Spirit, Word-saturation, and prayer. And remember, God will daily give you the grace you need.

1. Transformation comes about by renewal.

This talk is hard because it’s about submission.

Our culture hates the idea of submission to any person, group, religion or organization, and if I am honest, my flesh hates it as well, because my flesh loves to do what it wants to with no consequences.

But as a believer,  “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Gal. 2:20 This means that my “flesh” is in a casket somewhere and that God is living within me helping me to believe and live by faith.

“Biblical” thinking is scorned by society, and submission to biblical teachings is deemed primitive, backwards, enslavement, or akin to having rocks in your head.

Culture teaches that I am the greatest god, and if it’s right for me, then that’s all that matters. There’s no higher authority than self.

But no matter what our culture says, as women who are bought with a price and want to serve God, we line our lives up under His Word. (Or at least we try!) God is our authority and we voluntarily and happily submit to God’s word as revealed in the Bible. When culture contradicts scripture, God’s word is what we follow. And when our flesh rises up against scripture, it’s time to “put off” the old man, “put on” the new man, both of which take effort and will on our part.

Romans 12:2 teaches us that instead of conformity to the world, what we really need is transformation through renewing our minds.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

In Christ, we are new creatures. I’m not how I used to be.  So when my thoughts start returning to the old way of thinking, I need help. It comes by renewing my mind by knowing God, His glory, and His word. The word transformed in this verse means metamorphosis.

How does this happen? Where do you turn?

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

2 Cor. 3:18

 

The triune God is the only thing large enough and interesting enough to bear the weight of glory, and ultimately worship. Anything else will break your heart…We were created by God and for God and until we understand that, we are restless, brokenhearted glory chaser, always seeking something more.

Matt Papa

2. We are not alone. He have a Helper.

The Holy Spirit prompts you to change as you behold God’s glory.

Your job is respond.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is always with us to encourage us to pursue godliness and to remind us of all we have and are in Christ Jesus. He reminds us that we are one with God, and that our ultimate happiness comes when we live in that place of oneness.

3. The Bible encourages us to check our thoughts.

Just because we think it, doesn’t mean it is true, and just because we dwell on it, doesn’t make it right.

One of the most valuable actions you can take when a thought comes to your mind is to evaluate it before you believe it.

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 

2 Cor. 10:5

Think of a toy-sieve that your child uses at the beach. They pour all the sand through the plastic grid, and as it slides through, the rocks, seaweed, glass, and sticks are more clearly seen and separated. Little hands pull out the junk and unwanted pieces and toss them aside.

Although hard to swallow, our thought life is our responsibility. We are responsible to discard the junk, and the Bible is our sieve.

As thoughts come in, think:

  • Where did this thought come from?
  • Where will it lead me if I follow it?
  • Does this thought agree with scripture?
  • Is is true, honest, just?
  • It is pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, or praise worthy?
  • It is judgmental, proud, expedient?
  • Does it promote unity?
  • Does this thought show the character of Christ?
  • Does it lead me to love this person or despise them?
  • Does it lead me to hope in God or believe that He has abandoned me?
  • Is this thought self-centered and therefore proud?

Our emotions are like smoke from the fire of the alter of the true god we worship. ~Matt Papa

 

4. We reap what we sow in our thought life. We get what we plant and our thoughts have consequences.

When we think too much about ourselves and how all the people around us are not living up to our expectations, when we dwell on our problems and make big of them, or we indulge in self-condemning thoughts about how we’ve messed up our lives and how nothing will ever turn out right, we are planting a crop that will grow and bear fruit. 

When you plant unloving thoughts about another person, you will reap broken relationships and hate in your own heart.

When you second guess everyone’s motives, you’ll reap walls built up by your lack of love.

When you dwell in self-condemnation {when in Christ you have no condemnation!}, you’ll surely end up discouraged or depressed.

When you think too much about how others relate to you, or too much how others have wronged you, or too much how you’ve let everyone around you down including yourself, you have thought too much about SELF.

Self focus sends me spiraling, friends.

When I make big of problems, or dream up the worst, and think too little about God, and forget His glory and goodness, or neglect my Bible, I’m setting a course and choosing a path.

I need truth to wash over me and renew my mind so I can see truth as it really is and arm myself against Satan’s lies.

This is the truth right now:

  • God loves me and took extreme measures to have a relationship with me.
  • Nothing can separate me from the love of God–not a wayward child, a financial crisis, a broken marriage, nothing.
  • God gave me His Holy Spirit so I wouldn’t be bogged down by the broken thoughts of this world. Although I am in a broken world, I don’t lose hope because God is greater.
  • Hard truth:: I deserved hell for my sin, not only in my future when I die, but I deserved hell today, but I didn’t get what I deserved. This is all due to God’s goodness. That means that no matter how hard today may seem, it is FAR better than what I deserve and with eyes of gratitude I can thank God for the day before me.

5. Fight back.

I’ve learned that renewing my mind means putting scripture before me in an intentional way.

I post verses because I need to see them.

I post Bible based art because it’s beneficial for my mind and soul.

I fight back because I sometimes desire social media over my bible reading.

I keep an open Bible on my counter because I need every little glance on the days when my phone is ringing off the hook and problems are piling and kids are in chaos and my soul is crumbling under the weight of it all.

I put God’s word on my fridge and my mirrors, smack dab in front our faces because as John Piper said, “I wake up in the morning with Satan sitting on my face.”

The struggle is real, and I want you to know you are not alone. I hope this helps you and encourages you to be intentional to renew your mind, read God’s word, fight to see Him in a world where everything is vying for your attention.

What do you do to renew your mind? Share your helps in the comments or on FB. Thanks, friends.

For When You’re Spiraling Downward

I once had a problem so big that I let it suck the life out of me. At any given moment, just the thought of the problem could send what seemed to be a brick slamming down into my stomach, and my thoughts would slowly descend, spiraling downward like a bathtub when the drain is opened and the dirty water instinctively rushes down to some lower level until the vessel is left empty. Empty but all-consumed.

 

That is how I felt.

I was walking through life in a semi conscious state, in a fog. Doing life but not all there. I was fighting to find even the smallest spark of joy.

I am sure I missed things that I can never recover.

Memories with my kids, my husband, and life.

Life. I missed life at that moment, because problems were big and  I was living  a self imposed death.

When we let problems, real or perceived, become so big that all of life is small in comparison, we aren’t thinking straight.

We *think* we are fighting to hold on to our dreams, to right the wrongs, and to uphold justice, but

in reality are ruining our own lives.

We’re working overtime to fix our idea of what our lives should look like, how the people in our lives should act, how people should relate with us, how our husband should be more dedicated to justice and our brother in law should be less outspoken and more caring, how our finances should be steadier and our children, for heavens sake, should not ever be sick.

WE.ARE.TRYING.TO.BE.IN.CONTROL.OF.EVERYTHING.

Bottom line: We think life would be better if it went our way.

Our prayer is “My kingdom come.” (of course, it is an unspoken prayer, because, ya know, who would actually verbalize that? But that is how we act.)

We forget about God’s kingdom for a time, because we’re so busy working overtime on our own.

If we don’t let it go, the dream of our ideal world, life according to Sarah, we die inside and lose hope, and end up in despair.

Despair is the mental death of a dream that never materialized.

The simple solution: Relinquish your throne.

Acknowledge that God is actually in Control of All Life.

And He is your God, so you can trust Him.

Let go of being right. Let go of being wronged.

Because in the end, our only concern has to be for His kingdom.

Our goals have to be His goals.

We can’t advance our own kingdom and His at the same time.

What consumes your thoughts? Identify it.

Now picture yourself taking it into your hand and giving it to God. (really, it is in his hands already, but you are acknowledging his Lordship in this mental exercise, mKay?)

Give it back to God and don’t ever take it back. No backsies.  (and if you do find yourself with it “back”, which is highly unlikely, but let’s just say incase your sister does it or something crazy like that…do it over again. Give it back again.)

He is doing all His Holy will each day. Do you believe this? Can you believe Him?

Resting in God’s sovereignty is the way to resuscitate your weary heart, mind, and life.

Today is life. Today is real. Embrace it and thank God for it as you TRUST God’s goodness towards you.

**Please know that I realize that all depression is not related to “thinking wrong thoughts” or “not depending on God.” The fact is that some forms of depression require medication and thank God we have that available in modern days. This study is for women who are struggling with wrong thoughts and the negative effect it can have on our bodies.

 

Linked to Courtney