Fear, Faith and Following {Ministry Wives Monday Guest Post}

April 15, 2013 Sarah Beals 3 comments

I’m so excited to have a guest post submitted by a missionary wife and friend, Michelle.

Michelle has served as an assistant pastor’s wife and is currently serving overseas with her husband on the mission field. They have three children, ages 8, 7, and 3, with a fourth one coming in one month! She enjoys reading, quilting, hiking, and watching baseball with her husband. I hope her words of faith and fear-less-ness encourage you as much as they did me!

Fear, Faith, and Following

“I’m afraid, Mommy!” is a common phrase spoken by my children. Whether it is a wild animal, a bug, a scary movie, or just doing a new activity, my children voice their fear to me almost every day. Each time my children express this feeling, I try to address their fear right away, and to use that moment to teach them to trust or depend on God even in little situations. Most of us as adults still struggle with responding in fear rather than in faith. We further complicate matters by getting married to another sinful human being. If our husband is in ministry, we face even more fearful challenges due to the uncertainty of ministry. As ministry wives, if we do not respond in faith to God while following our husbands, the end result can be devastating. A fearful ministry wife can become discouraged and depressed, and if she does not turn to the Lord, she will ultimately destroy (or at the very least cripple) her husband’s ministry. So, how do we as ministry wives deal with fear as we follow our husbands to what God wants him to do? 1 Timothy 1:7 gives us three ways to fight fear with faith in our lives. It says “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

First, notice that the verse says that GOD has not given us the spirit of fear, but rather GOD has given us three things instead. Responding the right way to your husband’s leadership starts with your relationship with God. Do you rely more on a human relationship for direction or guidance than you do on God and His Word? If you have been married any length of time you know that your husband, no matter how godly he is, will not always be perfect, but God is omniscient, omnipresent, and all powerful! He never makes a mistake or fails. A great way to deal with fear is to start making a list of all the attributes of God, and to stop making a list of all the ways your husband can fail!

Secondly, God has given us the Holy Spirit that lives inside of us as believers. His Holy Spirit gives us power to defeat the fear. Fear is a debilitating emotion that either wants us to freeze or run away from the problem. Neither of these responses is based on faith in God. This is our flesh’s response when something happens that we cannot deal with in our own strength. In Ephesians 6:10-18, Paul says, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.” He then goes on to tell us how to defeat the fiery darts of the devil. As a ministry wife don’t give into the fiery dart of fear. Remember, that the Holy Spirit has given us the power to fight fear with faith in the promises of God.

Thirdly, notice, that God has also given us the Holy Spirit so we can respond in love! A spirit of fear will respond in anger, revenge, discontentment, gossip, and pride, but it will never respond in love. As ministry wives, we need to let our husbands know that we love them. Are you unsure of how a loving response looks? I Corinthians 13:4-7 lists the characteristics of love. They include: kindness, humility, prudence, sacrifice, truthfulness, and patience. A ministry wife that has these characteristics is walking in the Spirit and will have no room for fear in her life.

The last thing mentioned that the Holy Spirit gives us is a sound mind. I think that this is the most practical when dealing with ministry and following the leadership of our husbands. As women, fear is usually a reactionary, emotional response to a person or situation. This is the opposite of a sound mind. A sound mind is one that is under control and is putting to practice Philippians 4:8. I, personally, have found it very helpful to tell my husband (or others) “Let me think about it,” whenever I feel the overwhelming emotion of fear taking over my thoughts. Then I will spend time trying to think about his ideas when I am rested, fed, and spiritually recharged. (Sometimes a difficult combination to achieve as a mother of small children!)

God desires that we be women of faith not of fear. He has given us the Holy Spirit so we have the power, love, and sound mind to defeat fear in our lives. Following our husbands as they follow God is not easy, but with a deeper faith in God, we can be ministry wives who support and encourage our husbands to become all that God has for them!

Ministry Wives Mini Manifesto faith, fear, following God, following our husband, ministry, missionary wife.

DIY Watercolor Bird Silhouette Art for Kids

April 12, 2013 Sarah Beals 5 comments

I’m teaching a great group of homeschoolers simple watercolor techniques, and today I thought I’d post our next project as a tutorial that you can use for your kids.

Silhouette art is popular right now, and is super easy to create.

Supply list:

Watercolor paper, 140 lb.
Winsor & Newton Cotman Sketchers Pocket Box Set (This set fits in a child’s pocket and is perfect for nature study outings!)
Watercolor brushes– a flat wide 1″ brush and a medium fine tipped brush. (buy brushes that are specifically for watercolor and come to a point in the package. If they are blunt topped with NO point, your kids won’t be able to get detail.)
water
paper towels
8″X10″ bird silhouette of your choice. Check google for bird pictures.

First:

Transfer your bird picture of choice to your watercolor paper.

If you have graphite paper, you can use that, but for my art kids, we simply rub pencil over the entire backside of our image print out, then trace it. Know what I mean? You are scribbling with pencil all over the back of the bird picture you chose. Then place it on your watercolor paper and trace firmly, transferring the image. That’s the DIY New England way.

Second:

Use your flat paint brush to paint your picture with WATER only.

Third:

Mix cobalt blue or whatever “sky-ish” blue color you have and a little water and dot in the sky while your paper is still wet. This allows the paint to “spread” and makes the clouds look realistic. Allow to dry completely before continuing. If you are impatient like I am, use a hair dryer to speed up your process.

Fourth:

Using a smaller brush, mix ultramarine blue or your darkest blue with sepia brown or your darkest brown. Don’t over mix. Allow the colors to separate. Your mixture should not be super watery. You want a dark mixture. Watercolor dries at half strength, so use color that is darker than you think it should be. Fill in your outline and allow to dry. You’re done.

This can be used for any silhouette, obviously.

You can use the same technique to make this picture with 3-5 year olds, except after you transfer the image on your watercolor paper, you COLOR the silhouette outline with a white crayon. This is called a wax resist. Then, once your silhouette is colored in white, you watercolor the background. Easy peasy art project for your kiddos.

Watercolor is a wee bit intimidating if you’re not used to the medium but here are a few things to remember about watercolor:

You need to DRY your work between steps or you’ll end up with a hazy soup.
As much as possible, mix only two colors at a time. Anything more gets muddy.
Use the best quality materials you can afford. Investing in a small artist quality palatte, like the Winsor & Newton Cotman Sketchers Pocket Box Set is better than using Crayola Watercolor from Walmart. Your kids will get a much better result.

ENJOY!

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. Thanks.

Uncategorized bird silhouette, Charlotte Mason, diy, homeschooling, nature study, simple watercolor, teach child watercolor, watercolor

How To Become and Stay Interesting

April 10, 2013 Sarah Beals 14 comments

Have you ever met someone who can only seems to talk about one thing? Whether it’s sports, eBay, homeschooling, or whatever, the conversation always comes back to their one thing. And unless you are interested in their one thing, the conversation can become, well, a little tiresome.

Years ago, the advice to young housewives was to “stay interested” in a variety of subjects so that you can talk intelligently with others, most importantly your own husband. Although this advice sounds dated now, being and remaining well- rounded can only help you.

Sometimes it’s easy to get comfortable. Comfortable with what we know, who we talk to, and what we talk about. It can make us a little dull. Those who are interested and knowledgeable in a wide variety of subjects are my favorite people to talk with because mutual learning takes place.

Some ways to keep your edge:

1. Be widely read. That should be a no-brainer, yet there are people who don’t like to read. If you can’t bring yourself to read, listen to audio books. It helps you see other points of view and gives you sympathy for the experiences of others. If you have young children and time is at a premium, read articles on subjects you want to be more informed about, not books. Something is better than nothing.

2. Stay informed with the news to some degree. You should at least recognize the names and positions of our nations leaders whether you like politics or not.

3. Visit the library to research a new topic, don’t just Google it. Google is dumbing us down by giving us over-access to information without us ever really grasping it. For those of you who homeschool, it’s like giving your kids the “textbook” equivalent to information rather than giving them the living book experience. One gives you snippets of information, while living books help you really KNOW a topic, not just know about it.

Choose something you are interested in and take out a stack of books on the topic: photography, interior design, art, or gardening. If you are clueless like I am about how plumbing, Dubai or how electricity works, check out books that give you general knowledge.

4. Plan to talk to local experts. I think this goes without saying, but just because someone likes a topic does not make them an expert. (Case in point: blogs. Enough said!) Experience brings expertise, not just interest.

My grandfather fought in WW2 and is passionate about it. He is my go to person when I need to know about this topic. My father when it comes to agriculture. An older man in our church, George, when it comes to gardening. I have a go to person for politics, theology, house care, cooking, homeschooling, counseling women, etc…

5. Enjoy life and nature. The smartest people I know were farmers. I don’t know if it was all the time they had alone with their own thoughts, or if fresh air breeds genius, but these people win in the common sense department. Taking in knowledge does not make you smart. Processing and forming relationships with the knowledge is what educates a person. Sometimes enjoying life and time with your own thoughts spawns creativity and curiosity. It gives you time to problem solve and You need quiet time to cultivate thoughts–time away from incoming information. (THAT is why children need long periods of time outdoors in nature…but that is for another post!)

6. Really listen when others speak, instead of doing all the talking. Surrounding yourselves with people more knowledgeable than you are and then listening is a great way to learn and stay informed.

What would you add? How do you find ways to stretch yourself?

Uncategorized

What Do You Do When It’s the “Worst of Times”? {Ministry Wives Monday}

April 8, 2013 Sarah Beals 8 comments

Today, my friend Charity is guest posting for us. Charity and I met years ago at a youth workers conference we attended with our husbands. I recall sitting in a circle during a youth pastors’ wives open forum, and listening to some of the other wives bemoaning the fact that the ministry was hard and that their husbands were always gone, etc…Charity spoke up and mentioned that many of the lay-men men in the church work full time jobs AND volunteer at the church, so we can’t really allow ourselves to complain about our husband’s time away at the church…after all, this is what he’s getting paid to do! I liked her from that moment on and decided to get to know her better!

I know Charity will bless you!

What do you do when it’s the “worst of times”?

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your husband was not a pastor? This question often comes into my mind when hard situations come up at church. If you are married to a computer programmer you might talk about the people he works with, but unless he has a really good friend at work, you probably do not know much about anybody’s personal lives there. Not so being married to a pastor. Here are a couple of reasons why: People come to the pastor and his wife for sensitive issues they need help with. You know more than you ever wanted to know about people and you still have to worship with them on Sunday without prejudice, unkindness, or whatever feeling is evoked by their situation.

Another area that can produce hard times is that you often know every mean thing that is said to your husband or another staff member. How do you weather these storms that so often come? How do you guard yourself so you do not grow bitter at people or weary of them?

Pray

The Bible says to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and “the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16b). God wants us to talk to Him. Prayer is powerful to change any hard and bad situation. However, remember that God’s purpose in every situation is that people would become more like Him (Romans 8:28-29), and therefore the situation may not go as you would like (Isaiah 55:8-9). Claim the promise that God will do “far more abundantly than all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20)!

Protect

Protect your mind and emotions in two ways. First have your husband not tell you about situations that you cannot handle. You have to have humility to ask this if this is not already his policy. This would be in accordance with 1 Peter 3:7 to show honor to you:

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Second, take control of your own thoughts:

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” – 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)

We are very good at blowing situations out of proportion in our minds. Throw those thoughts away! Make sure every thought is in obedience to Christ! (Read Philippians 4:8 for further study.)

Prudence

The word prudence sounds like a stuffy puritan word. However, if more Christians were prudent, we would have better testimonies! The definition of prudence or to be prudent is “wise or judicious in practical affairs; … discreet or circumspect; sober” (dictionary.com) How can we be wise in hard situations?

1. Control your tongue.

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent … The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.” – Proverbs 10:19, 32

This applies to the spoken and written word. Stay out of texting, Facebook, and tweeting wars when it comes to sensitive church information. All serious conversations should happen in person. When people are cruel to you or your husband with their words, be careful what you say! You will save yourself from sinning if you do!

2. Control your actions.

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” – Proverbs 25:28

We are defenseless when we refuse to control our actions. We are like a city with no protection. Self-control protects us.

3. Speak in private.

Protect your children and other church members from knowing about these things. Speak only to your husband about these matters in private.

Prepare

Anticipate the times that will be hard. For example business meetings can be a source of contention. But meetings are planned ahead and as a staff member’s wife, you probably already know what is about to be discussed. You know your people and how they will probably act, so prepare yourself accordingly.

When we moved to our current church, we were following a young youth pastor who had died from a brain tumor. He was very close to a few of the older teens in the youth group and their families. We knew that there would be people who would not accept us and refuse to like us because we had replaced the former youth pastor. Their anger and bitterness at God was transferred to us. We were able to anticipate this and therefore prepare ourselves.

What do you do when people are mean and bitter? I go by two passages of scripture to not take this behavior personally and to help myself have love and compassion towards them.

“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.” – 2 Timothy 2:24-26

This passage clearly states how we must act towards people who are mean to us. It’s hard to do but not quite as hard when you look at the end of the passage. Why are we not quarrelsome, but we are to be kind, patient, and gentle? So that God may lead these people to the truth and repentance, because Satan is currently using them to accomplish his purposes. We actually have a part in helping mean people come to the truth and find repentance with God. The scariest part is that these people are usually without knowledge that they are helping Satan accomplish his plan.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” – Hebrews 12:15

My husband and I often say, “Bitter people do stupid things”. It’s no wonder because they have “failed to obtain the grace of God”! God’s grace is the strength He gives us every day to live the Christian life. We forfeit this grace when we allow pride to creep in. (Study James 4 for more on this.) Bitter people have no help from God to live their lives.

Not all situations can be anticipated but I suspect the majority of hard times that you and your husband will face in ministry will be fueled by bitter and mean people. Use the truths in scripture to react biblically.

Remember to not get discouraged during these times! Find joy in the people who are doing right, your family, and God’s creation. Continually feed yourself with His Word and strive with God’s help to do all to His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31)!

Charity is married to a youth pastor and they live in North Carolina. They have two boys, ages 2 and 8 weeks old. She loves spending time with her family, being outdoors, cooking, gardening, and playing the piano.

Ministry Wives Mini Manifesto guest post, hard times, ministry, struggles

Using Wisdom Online

April 5, 2013 Sarah Beals 7 comments

Do you ever wonder what is appropriate to post online? I struggle with certain aspects of the online presence and find myself praying for wisdom as I post on this blog. There really is so much junk online, and in truth, we are responsible for our words, even the typed ones.

My “big thoughts” this week about online activity: {sarcasm, incase you didn’t catch that}

#1. Is it really wise to post your deeply held personal convictions for the entire world to see? How about your personal preferences?

Especially sharing on Facebook. It’s like standing up in a crowded stadium and yelling a random 140-character remark, then waiting for the “crowd” to respond. Is there any wonder why the crowd had such mixed reactions?

I know it’s just “sharing ideas”, but who, exactly, is your audience? Are they really listening? Do you really want to be entering into dialogue about the topic with this person. Do you even care what they think? Do you respect their opinion? Will this be profitable or opening up yet another bees nest? I’m thinking that just like you wouldn’t stand up and yell out random beliefs to the crowd at Fenway Park, you really shouldn’t on Facebook either.

I’m not sure that topics that become controversies like staying at home or working, preschool or no, immunizations or not, birth control, clothing choices, family planning or lack thereof, if to homeschool, how to homeschool, public school, big families or small families, breast feeding, natural family planning, blah,blah, blah are really best addressed publicly. I feel like we’re drowning in a sea of meaningless words.

It is wise to be selective who you share with on Facebook.

Did you know that on Facebook you can make lists? It is one of the greatest features ever. You can assign people to certain lists so you don’t get into exposing TMI and so that you can direct certain conversations to certain groups. For instance, I have these lists:

Closest friends
Friends
Family
Teens
Acquaintances
Restricted

When you assign someone to the acquaintance or restricted lists and chose the security setting, “Share with Friends Except Acquaintances”, it does just that. Or you can post to just your closest friends. Also, a “restricted” list makes sure that those people only see public posts. You can also limit how much you see from other people. I block people who use foul language, make sacrilegious jokes, criticize others, whine or brag, or are just plain mean on FB.

#2. Writing about the church, aka. The Visionary Church Writers: There seems to this trend to highlight to faults of the “universal” church under the guise of being visionary. These are the bloggers who, in broad strokes, paint everyone else’s ministry as selfish, lacking compassion, not missionally or globally minded enough. I guess they believe they are the experts on what God wants for YOUR local church, wherever it is. (Darn that foolish pastor and those narrow minded elders and deacons! What do they know? If only they’d listen to these bloggers rather than to God, we’d all be so much better off!)

Friends, the local church is local for a reason. Thank you, Captain Obvious. As my mom would say, “Are there any of your clothes on that line?” In other words, worry about your own church and what you are doing in it. You only answer to God for you. These bloggers do more harm than good by airing what they see as dirty laundry for the unbelieving world to see. What ever happened to presenting the bride of Christ, the church, however flawed, as the hope and pillar and foundation of truth. And, just an afterthought–since Christ died for the church and you are badmouthing it, what do you think God thinks of this? Is there a time and place for purifying the church? Absolutely. My problem is not with the concept of purifying the church, but with the method that is being used.

#3. Oh, be careful little eyes what you read. So this one’s not so much about posting, but what we’re reading online. I love technology, I really do. But there’s just so much junk out there. It really does affect you for good or bad.

How does being online affect your heart? Does FB make you feel discontent? Does FB bring out a critical spirit in you? Are you becoming a busy body and not getting your work done? Does it make you want to have a pity party?

How about Pinterest? Does it make you discontent? If so, limit it.

Blogs? Are they bringing you closer to God or making you falter in your faith. Are you spending time mulling over “foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.”

Study God’s word more than you read online. Don’t replace your time in God’s word with some person’s blog entry. My pastor said a few weeks ago, “If you can get your encouragement from someone else, you’ll have no need for God.” It’s true! Minimize your time online and maximize your time in God’s word. I love that you read here, but don’t do so at the expense of your time in God’s word, or I will not be happy with you!

Some articles that might be helpful:

“Stop Instagramming your Perfect Life.”

“Social Media Heart Check”

“Does God Care About Your Teen’s Facebook Page?”

Do you struggle with certain aspects of the online world like I do?

A Wise Woman

A Tribute to Two Godly Women and How Their Lives Touched Mine.

April 2, 2013 Sarah Beals 6 comments

Two lovely, godly women passed away this week.

First, Edith Schaeffer. She is truly one of the most inspiring women of my lifetime. Although imperfect, I loved her creative, others-focused life. I love that she created beauty for her children, sewed beautiful clothing, embraced art and music and read aloud to her children daily. Her hospitality and stranger love was jaw-dropping. She was intellectually an equal to her husband, Francis, and not just some simple Christian woman. She found things out for herself and defended the faith during an era where women were just content to be told what to do and think. Her love for beauty in art, music, and decorating was contagious. Her wonderful writings are a gift to those of us younger women. Her love for all things “home-y” and beautiful make her a kindred spirit.

Her wayward son Frank wrote this loving tribute here. Just goes to prove that a mother’s influence continues after her death.

The second is Julie Herbster. Although I’d met her, Peter and I knew her husband Matt better than her from our many trips to the Wilds of NC over the years.

Julie’s memorial service is a wonderful tribute to a godly mother who served her five children, home schooled them, helped them with their music lessons, did gardening and other family projects together with them and just plain thrived living out her God-given role. Peter and I watched her memorial service last night. Although she was a couple of years younger than I am, I learned that Julie and I had many similarities: we both shared a love for godly Christian books and thrived on discussing them, love one-on-one conversations with friends, laughing until we cry, and desiring to be behind the scenes instead of “up front” in ministry. I also appreciated hearing that Julie never sought the spotlight, found herself in a very public ministry, but she would have faithfully served in obscurity if that is where God had placed her. THAT is my kind of woman! Faithful, submissive, meek.

What can you learn from the death of a saint?

Life is a vapor.
Spending time and energy on things that don’t matter is foolish. Only what’s done for Christ will last. All else is hay, wood, stubble.
Today may be the last day we have to do good. Nothing is guaranteed.
Eternity is forever. Be prepared now for where you’ll spend your forever. God is not going to force himself on you. If you choose to live w/o God in life, he’ll honor your wishes in death as well.

When you live for Jesus Christ and faithfully serve Him, your life is never in vain. It’s lived for something “higher.” It has a multi-generational outlook, one that says, “See, my life pointed to someone more glorious than myself. Follow Him!”

Whatever you are doing today, make sure you are doing life God’s way and according to His will. (Matthew 7: 21) Live life for his glory and for the love of those you are called to serve. Do not withhold love from those around you. Don’t waste time. Time is shorter than we think.

“Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.” Psalm 116:15

“I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies” John 11:25

A Wise Woman

Ministry Wives Mini-Manifesto Mondays

April 1, 2013 Sarah Beals 6 comments

For the next few months, Mondays on the blog are going to be dedicated to encouraging Ministry Wives. I’ve asked several friends to contribute to the series and hope that it will be a blessing to many of you.

Who is this series for? Anyone in the any capacity of ministry, but especially those who are married to men in leadership positions in the church: Missionary wives, evangelist wives, pastors wives, youth pastors wives, deacons and elders wives, etc. Also, those in full time ministry in Christian organizations. If you don’t find yourself in one of these categories, you can still benefit, because the truths are universal for all Christian women in all walks of life.

I know that my own search for MWs helps has been frustrating. Many are dated and written for women of older generations. And women today are not the same as women of 50 years ago, for good or for bad.

The lack of material may also be due to the fact that each ministry situation has it’s own dynamics and specifics are hard to address. In the mix you have a husband’s strengths and weaknesses, a wife’s strengths and weaknesses, a variety of different ministries, people with differing needs and personalities at varioius stages of Christian maturity or lack thereof, struggles personally and corporately in the body, etc…

Today I want to share three common struggles for ministry women (hereafter referred to as MWs) that I have either experienced or have seen firsthand:

Surviving rather than thriving:

Our devotional life is not optional but essential for abundant life. "Abide in me" is the instruction of Christ.

Our devotional life is not optional but essential for abundant life. Abide in order to thrive.

MWs are normal people and just like everyone else, we have our ups and downs. People expect us to be “up” and therefore, when we have our “downs” people take note. Because we know this, and because we know that people assume that our bad days/months/seasons must mean that there is something seriously wrong with our husband’s ability to lead his own family (which can bring into question his qualifications to lead a church or ministry) it can put undo pressure on MWs to mask her own needs. In fact, many sources say that nearly 80% of MW have experienced serious seasons of depression. I believe that Satan uses this deception of “keeping up appearances”, pretending all is well when all is not well to discourage the wife, paralyze her with fear and attack the husband via the wife.

Let’s face it, the way we treat our husband at home affects them. Most guys just want their girl to be happy. And a wife who is not helping her man is hindering him. When a woman struggles with her own spiritual life, she most likely harms those closest to her. Think about it this way: Do you think you are harming or helping your husband’s ministry when you are:

unfaithful
spiritually unstable or simple
undependable
moody
unpredictable
starting small fires and problems with your careless words
over-reaching your boundaries
answering for/taking over for/speaking for/ overstepping his leadership (By the way, don’t do this. Totally emasculating. You are not his mother. He can do his job just fine.)
indifferent about what he’s trying to accomplish
hindering his progress

If you are spiritually discouraged, the best thing you can do is be honest, be humble and get help. Make sure you are spiritually thriving. That’s it. Big secret revealed.

I recently flew to South Carolina to visit my oldest daughter. The airline stewardess dutifully went over the emergency procedures and reminded us that if the cabin pressure drops, we are to put our oxygen masks on first, and then help our children and neighbors. Taking care to put our oxygen mask on first makes us able to help others and makes us part of the solution, rather than part of the problem.

The same is true with our devotional life. If we are not thriving and are trying to help others, we become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

Read through Psalm 1. Notice the adjectives used for the “blessed man”: He is like a tree planted, well rooted, leaves not wilted or withered but vibrantly green bringing forth fruit, prospering in their Christian walk, thriving and well watered. Whatever it takes to get you to this point, do it. Even if it means stepping out for a season to regroup and get your own spiritual life in order.

Committed but not Surrendered

When we follow Christ initially, we acknowledge our need for him to remove and cleanse us from our sins. We acknowledge his Lordship over all things. But as time goes by, we sometimes forget that we are really his servants. We forget that Romans 12:1 tells us to present our bodies as living sacrifices. We forget that the norm for all Christians is to live a fully surrendered life. The norm.

This means that we need to bow our entire life,

all our plans
all our desires,wishes and dreams
all our words and thoughts
all of our being
all of our time and money

to the one who bought us with the precious blood of His Son.

We like to fancy ourselves “committed Christians.” But in fact, God wants us to be surrendered Christians. There is a very subtle difference between these two words:

A “committed” Christian retains the right to control what he/she commits to. Yes, I’ll commit to this ministry. No, I’ll not commit to that. The obvious point being that commitment means that we are in control.

A “surrendered” Christian has no will but her master’s. She does the will of her master whatever, whenever, wherever. She has this servant mindset 24/7. She realizes that being a servant/slave of Christ’s means placing her life in the hands of a good God. This is the place of peace and victory. Anytime we are harboring or hanging on to something sinful that we know God forbids, we are not a surrendered Christian. We are a rebellious Christian, playing games. When we claim our “rights” or tell God that “we’re only human” and justify sinful behavior, God will make life hard for us.

Since Eve tried to “run her own life” in the garden, we have struggled with dueling kingdoms. We want our own way; God wants us to surrender to His way.

Ask yourself: Does this action, thought, word, deed reflect my desire for the advancement of God’s kingdom or my own sinful little kingdom?

Renegade Thought Life

This could come under “surrendering” your thought life to Christ, but this is such a serious struggle for MWs that it is worthy of its own section.

What is your thought life like?

Are you a Colossians 3:1 heavenly minded Christian? Where are your affections? What do you long for inside?
Are you thinking the best about other people? Or do you always assume the worst?
Do you complain inside about your situation in life?
Do you dwell on the sins of others against you, nursing years of hurts, slight and wrongs, real or perceived?

If you are, you are reaping to yourself a harvest.

Sowing sinful thoughts reaps a sinful harvest. The thing is, you are only hurting yourself. You are entangling yourself in a self-righteous sin that does not die easily. After years of talking to yourself like this, you begin to believe your own sinful judgements and declarations about others. It hinders your love for people, and makes your testimony suspect. You can’t serve or love others that you think the worst about. End of story.

Satan is the ultimate slanderer and we are never in a good spot when we are joining in with his sin.

Thing is, even when you agree with God that this sin needs to go and you begin in obedience to run your thoughts through the sieve of scripture, your own mind and thoughts keep accusing you. Old habits die hard.

So don’t allow yourself to be entangled with this sin. Lasso your renegade thoughts. Take each thought captive:

every vain imagination,
every cynical, careless, callous, critical thought,
every ungrateful complaint.

Replace it with scripture. Fight this one. Even if you feel like a crazy woman. Post scripture. Ask for God to cleanse your heart.

And by the way, Satan will accuse you in your own mind for years and try to make you believe that this is all that you are capable of. It’s not true. It takes work, but by God’s grace weed out sinful thoughts. You become what you think about!

Thanks for joining us today for our first MW’s Mini-Manifesto.

***Please share your words of wisdom with other MW’s in the comments section. I’m counting on you lovely women to help encourage others to keep fighting the good fight.

A Wise Woman, Ministry Wives Mini Manifesto

Has the Cross Changed Me?

March 28, 2013 Sarah Beals One comment

We have a winner in our “Brokenness” book giveaway! Mary E! I’ve emailed you! I hope you are blessed by this book.

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Are you all busy preparing for Easter? Buying new white lacy socks for your little girls, preparing special outfits, hair ribbons and bows, baking up a storm and preparing your family traditions? Me too.

This gorgeous Easter Table from Southern Living

LOVE this simple Easter Table from Southern Living, with menus here!

But in the midst of it all, I’m taking time to sit and consider these questions:

How has the power of the cross and Christ’s resurrection changed me?

Am I the person I was last year? Better? Worse? Am I super focused on “externals” and looking good or “saving face” (aka hiding my sin) when Christ says that my heart and its meditations are paramount and who we “really are”–for better or for worse!

What is my heart temperature toward my Savior today? Hot, Cold, Lukewarm? (hint: my heart temperature towards God reflects my love for others as well.)

Does my life look like the cross? Am I characterized by self denial, humility, dependence on God and a desire to do God’s will, even if it means bearing a cross I can’t stand?

Does my heart cry out, “Not my will, but Thine?”–or am I pretty selfish in wanting my own way?

Has the cross lifted my burdens as I’ve confessed my sins, or am I still one of those “silly women, laden down with sin?” with a guilty conscience and a long history of broken, unresolved relationships? Am I harboring unconfessed sin? Do I hang on to pet sins when I know Christ forbids them?

Have I really been forgiven? If so, have I forgiven others? Is my conscience clean toward others? Have I asked forgiveness of others when prompted by the Holy Spirit, or am I so proud that I won’t humble myself to ask forgiveness? Am I carrying on to my own detriment by harboring sinful attitudes that lead to unloving relationships with others and compounded sin which leads to despair and guilt, ineffectiveness and unfruitfulness?

Do I cling to the Christ of the cross or the world? In other words, Am I worldly? Do worldly desires like materialism, over-indulgence, craving self recognition or approval from man move me to do what I do? Does jealousy, envy, pride, an argumentative, critical spirit define me? What would others say about my words, actions and reactions? Are my sinful desires “dead in Christ” like they should be?

Have we crushed our stubborn will that fights against God and will not yield to Him in full obedience? (hint: when we sin, we have not!)

“We will be broken–sooner or later. We can choose to be broken or we can wait for God to crush our pride. If we resist the means God provides to lead us to brokenness (his Word, our circumstances, our church family) we do not avoid brokenness–we simply make it necessary for God to intensify and prolong the process.”

Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Brokenness

Are we walking in pride, all the while claiming to walk “as Jesus walked”, when all the time He walked a different way–in humility and servitude? Is God resisting us because of our pride? God says he has “two addresses”–He lives on high, and with the lowly and contrite of heart. Are we overlooking little sins? Do we think God will gloss over them, too, and that we are somehow the exception to God’s laws? “He cares about THAT sinner over there, but He’ll wink at MY indifference, my bad attitude or critical remark?”

“We may never defy God, or commit “egregious sin”, but all it takes to get into a position where God is forced to resist us is to refuse to humble ourselves and be broken before Him in one little matter. God always resists the proud–whether that person is a blasphemer or an adulterer, a pastor or a homeschooling mom.”

~Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Brokeness

As you prepare for Easter in all of it’s festivities, prepare yourself to worship God in spirit and in truth. It’s easier to plan for the outside (even though it is more exhausting!)–the pretty dresses and fun foods–but the more important aspect of Easter is what will we do with what Christ has done for us?

Uncategorized

Don’t Know Where To Begin, Hence a Book Giveaway

March 25, 2013 Sarah Beals 35 comments

As you noticed, the blog has been silent for over a week. In that time, I flew to SC to visit with my oldest, attended Bible Conference at Bob Jones University, celebrated my 41st birthday, and enjoyed hearing my son preach at our church’s Preaching Expo. The week was full of so many blessings that I don’t know where to begin.

The one thing that stands out about our week was what a blessing God’s people are when they are walking in obedience to Him. Their mouths are full of blessing God and others. They can only speak His praise. They are full of joy and hope. They promote peace and have nothing but good to say about the saints. The fruit of God’s spirit oozes out of them: kindness, meekness, gentleness, goodness, joy.

God seems to shower me with examples of women who are walking uprightly. One is this lovely lady who asked to take me out for a cupcake for my birthday. She was a joy to be with. She spoke of God’s faithfulness to her in her family and life. She shared some of the ups and downs of life with hope and faith in what God was doing. Reliance on God and obedience to His word is so rare in Christian circles and I so appreciated her faith that does “not give way to fear.” She encouraged me to be faithful and discerning as I encourage you on this blog. She prayed that God would give me grace for several upcoming speaking opportunities that God has given me. Do you know how rare it is to be ministered to like that? I was blessed!

Since I am overwhelmed at what God is teaching me this week, I will leave you with a few quotes that I jotted down. And I will offer you a giveaway at the end of this post.

Matthew after the Preaching Expo. He spoke on Daniel and his three friends who obeyed God’s word, even though the word has been given over 800 years previously and they were just ordinary teens who “purposed to do right.”

On being separated (holy) unto God for his uses, and losing worldly affirmation: “It boils down to: To whom will I be separated?” (Am I willing to lose God’s affirmation for man’s affirmation?

“When self is paramount, you’ll not be true to the scriptures, because your desires, appeals,pursuits and ambitions will rule your decisions.”

“All I want is Christ’s approval in my life.”

“To walk humbly before your God, you must rid yourself of pride, selfish ambition, need for approval from others and self dependence on your own wisdom.”

“A Christ follower loves his enemies. He blesses them, praises them, does good to them and prays for them.”

“Glorifying God means we must make decisions that reflect his “first-ness” in our lives.”

“Perilous times will come. We face no greater peril than to have a form of godliness with out the power, having learned to do things on my own strength, self dependent of Him. Our greatest need is Him. To do life w/o Him is our greatest peril.”

And now for a giveaway.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s excellent book “Brokeness.”

I hope this will be an encouragement to you as you seek to walk humbly before your God. If you haven’t read it, enter to win it. It is one of my favorite books of all time.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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What You Need To Know About Hosting Long-Term Company

March 15, 2013 Sarah Beals 12 comments

Opening your home to a family for an evening is one thing, but what about having guests for a week or more?

Here are some suggestions from our own experience:

Give them their own space and stay out of it. If you have an extra bedroom, let them use it. Make it off limits to your own kids.

Be available for them, and be willing to talk, but be mindful of their needs and their kids as well. You can be cheerful, friendly and “available to talk” without being overwhelming and “in your face” by nervous chatter or a gazillion questions. There’s nothing worse than being bombarded with questions when what you really need is to get your young children to bed. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is point them to their bedroom and say, “Have a great night! I’m going to bed.” It takes the pressure off them.

Think about their life stage and determine what they need. If they are a younger family, they might need their baby to sleep. Keeping the house as quiet as possible will help. Maybe they have three toddler boys and might need someone to take them outside and help get some of the energy out. Include your kids and teach them to “entertain” the kids as part of learning to be a good host/hostess. Maybe the parents haven’t had a date night in forever due to their stage of life. Offer to watch the kids so they can go out!

Tell them to help themselves to snacks, drinks, fruit, whatever you have to share. My parents gave me Keurig machine a few years ago and it is one of my favorite tools for hospitality. I keep a basket of K-cups, tea bags, hot chocolate packets right out on the counter so they can take what they want when they want.

Keep breakables out of reach of kids. If you have something really valuable then put it out of reach. This will make your guests more at ease. When I hear a mom saying, “Don’t touch!” for fear her child will break my nick-nacks, I’m quick to say, “Oh, don’t worry, there’s nothing in this house that is irreplaceable.” It makes me happy when guests put their feet up on my coffee table.

Ask them what you can do to make their day more productive. Women who are living in your home still have goals of their own. They might be trying to homeschool children, potty train children, train children, etc. Ask how you can be helpful. Do they need to use your car to run an errand? Do they need a place to teach their kids?

Give them freedom to come and go as they please. They might want to see friends in the area, visit a local attraction or do a day trip as a family. This is especially true if the couple staying with you is a traveling Evangelist or missionary. They might really just need alone time for their family. Tell them what’s great to see in the area or tell them about library passes you might be able to check out for them to local museums or historic places. Offer to pack a small lunch for them if they’d like to take it along on their day trip. But give them time alone if they’d like that.

Let them use your “toys.” In other words, share what you have. If your kids have toys, bring a basket down for your company’s kids to use. If you have bikes or a canoe, let them use it as a family. A car? Share it. Give them access to your family book library, your movie library and DVD player, ask them if they need to use your washer or dryer, etc…

Talk about meals. If you have someone staying with you for a week, talk to the mom about the meals you were planning and offer alternatives you can afford. Maybe they’d really love BBQ and not another spaghetti dinner because they’ve eaten that five times this week prior to coming to your home. Ask about food allergies and children’s likes and dislikes. Tell them when you eat and how you handle meals.

Give them clean towels and facecloths or point them to the linen closet so they can use the showers as they will.

I know this list is just the beginning, so what would you add? What have you learned about hosting people for longer periods of time? Share your wisdom in the comments.

Homemaking, ministry

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