Joy-Filled Days

Have you ever met someone who can only seems to talk about one thing? Whether it’s sports, eBay, homeschooling, or whatever, the conversation always comes back to their one thing. And unless you are interested in their one thing, the conversation can become, well, a little tiresome.

Years ago, the advice to young housewives was to “stay interested” in a variety of subjects so that you can talk intelligently with others, most importantly your own husband. Although this advice sounds dated now, being and remaining well- rounded can only help you. 

Sometimes it’s easy to get comfortable. Comfortable with what we know, who we talk to, and what we talk about. It can make us a little dull. Those who are interested and knowledgeable in a wide variety of subjects are my favorite people to talk with because mutual learning takes place.

Some ways to keep your edge:

1. Be widely read. That should be a no-brainer, yet there are people who don’t like to read. If you can’t bring yourself to read, listen to audio books. It helps you see other points of view and gives you sympathy for the experiences of others.  If you have young children and time is at a premium, read articles on subjects you want to be more informed about, not books. Something is better than nothing.

2. Stay informed with the news to some degree. You should at least recognize the names and positions of our nations leaders whether you like politics or not.

3. Visit the library to research a new topic, don’t just Google it. Google is dumbing us down by giving us over-access to information without us ever really grasping it. For those of you who homeschool, it’s like giving your kids the “textbook” equivalent to information rather than giving them the living book experience. One gives you snippets of information, while living books help you really KNOW a topic, not just know about it.

Choose something you are interested in and take out a stack of books on the topic: photography, interior design, art, or gardening. If you are clueless like I am about how plumbing, Dubai or how electricity works, check out books that give you general knowledge.

4. Plan to talk to local experts. I think this goes without saying, but just because someone likes a topic does not make them an expert. (Case in point: blogs. Enough said!) Experience brings expertise, not just interest.

My grandfather fought in WW2 and is passionate about it. He is my go to person when I need to know about this topic. My father when it comes to agriculture. An older man in our church, George, when it comes to gardening. I have a go to person for politics, theology, house care, cooking, homeschooling, counseling women, etc…

5. Enjoy life and nature. The smartest people I know were farmers. I don’t know if it was all the time they had alone with their own thoughts, or if fresh air breeds genius, but these people win in the common sense department. Taking in knowledge does not make you smart. Processing and forming relationships with the knowledge is what educates a person. Sometimes enjoying life and time with your own thoughts spawns creativity and curiosity. It gives you time to problem solve and You need quiet time to cultivate thoughts–time away from incoming information. (THAT is why children need long periods of time outdoors in nature…but that is for another post!)

6. Really listen when others speak, instead of doing all the talking. Surrounding yourselves with people more knowledgeable than you are and then listening is a great way to learn and stay informed.

What would you add? How do you find ways to stretch yourself?

We have a winner in our “Brokenness” book giveaway! Mary E! I’ve emailed you! I hope you are blessed by this book.

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Are you all busy preparing for Easter? Buying new white lacy socks for your little girls, preparing special outfits, hair ribbons and bows, baking up a storm and preparing your family traditions? Me too.

LOVE this simple Easter Table from Southern Living, with menus here! 

But in the midst of it all, I’m taking time to sit and consider these questions:

How has the power of the cross and Christ’s resurrection changed me?

Am I the person I was last year? Better? Worse? Am I super focused on “externals” and looking good or “saving face” (aka hiding my sin) when Christ says that my heart and its meditations are paramount and who we “really are”–for better or for worse!

What is my heart temperature toward my Savior today? Hot, Cold, Lukewarm? (hint: my heart temperature towards God reflects my love for others as well.)

Does my life look like the cross? Am I characterized by self denial, humility, dependence on God and a desire to do God’s will, even if it means bearing a cross I can’t stand?

Does my heart cry out, “Not my will, but Thine?”–or am I pretty selfish in wanting my own way?

Has the cross lifted my burdens as I’ve confessed my sins, or am I still one of those “silly women, laden down with sin?” with a guilty conscience and a long history of broken, unresolved relationships? Am I harboring unconfessed sin? Do I hang on to pet sins when I know Christ forbids them?

Have I really been forgiven? If so, have I forgiven others? Is my conscience clean toward others? Have I asked forgiveness of others when prompted by the Holy Spirit, or am I so proud that I won’t humble myself to ask forgiveness? Am I carrying on to my own detriment by harboring sinful attitudes that lead to unloving relationships with others and compounded sin which leads to despair and guilt, ineffectiveness and unfruitfulness?

Do I cling to the Christ of the cross or the world? In other words, Am I worldly? Do worldly desires like materialism, over-indulgence, craving self recognition or  approval from man move me to do what I do? Does jealousy, envy, pride, an argumentative, critical spirit define me? What would others say about my words, actions and reactions? Are my sinful desires “dead in Christ” like they should be?

Have we crushed our stubborn will that fights against God and will not yield to Him in full obedience? (hint: when we sin, we have not!)

“We will be broken–sooner or later. We can choose to be broken or we can wait for God to crush our pride. If we resist the means God provides to lead us to brokenness (his Word, our circumstances, our church family) we do not avoid brokenness–we simply make it necessary for God to intensify and prolong the process.”

Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Brokenness

Are we walking in pride, all the while claiming to walk “as Jesus walked”, when all the time He walked a different way–in humility and servitude? Is God resisting us because of our pride? God says he has “two addresses”–He lives on high, and with the lowly and contrite of heart. Are we overlooking little sins? Do we think God will gloss over them, too, and that we are somehow the exception to God’s laws? “He cares about THAT sinner over there, but He’ll wink at MY indifference, my bad attitude or critical remark?”

“We may never defy God, or commit “egregious sin”, but all it takes to get into a position where God is forced to resist us is to refuse to humble ourselves and be broken before Him in one little matter. God always resists the proud–whether that person is a blasphemer or an adulterer, a pastor or a homeschooling mom.”

~Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Brokeness

As you prepare for Easter in all of it’s festivities, prepare yourself to worship God in spirit and in truth. It’s easier to plan for the outside (even though it is more exhausting!)–the pretty dresses and fun foods–but the more important aspect of Easter is what will we do with what Christ has done for us?

As you noticed, the blog has been silent for over a week. In that time, I flew to SC to visit with my oldest, attended Bible Conference at Bob Jones University, celebrated my 41st birthday, and enjoyed hearing my son preach at our church’s Preaching Expo. The week was full of so many blessings that I don’t know where to begin.

The one thing that stands out about our week was what a blessing God’s people are when they are walking in obedience to Him. Their mouths are full of blessing God and others. They can only speak His praise. They are full of joy and hope. They promote peace and have nothing but good to say about the saints. The fruit of God’s spirit oozes out of them: kindness, meekness, gentleness, goodness, joy.

God seems to shower me with examples of women who are walking uprightly. One is this lovely lady who asked to take me out for a cupcake for my birthday. She was a joy to be with. She spoke of God’s faithfulness to her in her family and life.  She shared some of the ups and downs of life with hope and faith in what God was doing.  Reliance on God and obedience to His word is so rare in Christian circles and I so appreciated her faith that does “not give way to fear.” She encouraged me to be faithful and discerning as I encourage you on this blog. She prayed that God would give me grace for several upcoming speaking opportunities that God has given me. Do you know how rare it is to be ministered to like that? I was blessed!

Since I am overwhelmed at what God is teaching me this week, I will leave you with a few quotes that I jotted down. And I will offer you a giveaway at the end of this post.

Matthew after the Preaching Expo. He spoke on Daniel and his three friends who obeyed God’s word, even though the word has been given over 800 years previously and they were just ordinary teens who “purposed to do right.”

On being separated (holy) unto God for his uses, and losing worldly affirmation: “It boils down to: To whom will I be separated?” (Am I willing to lose God’s affirmation for man’s affirmation?

“When self is paramount, you’ll not be true to the scriptures, because your desires, appeals,pursuits and ambitions will rule your decisions.”

“All I want is Christ’s approval in my life.”

“To walk humbly before your God, you must rid yourself of pride, selfish ambition, need for approval from others and self dependence on your own wisdom.”

“A Christ follower loves his enemies. He blesses them, praises them, does good to them and prays for them.”

“Glorifying God means we must make decisions that reflect his “first-ness” in our lives.”

“Perilous times will come. We face no greater peril than to have a form of godliness with out the power, having learned to do things on my own strength, self dependent of Him. Our greatest need is Him. To do life w/o Him is our greatest peril.”

And now for a giveaway.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s excellent book “Brokeness.”

I hope this will be an encouragement to you as you seek to walk humbly before your God. If you haven’t read it, enter to win it. It is one of my favorite books of all time.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Looking for some great devotional books for your kid’s library? 

As a Christian parent, teaching our kids about God is a matter of duty. It is commanded and expected.

Moms often ask me for devotional recommendations for their kids, so today I thought I’d put them all in one spot.  Hopefully this will help as you try to build your own library! We’ve read and used each of these books with our kids.

An asterisk near it means that there were things that we didn’t totally agree with in the book, but that it is still a wonderful resource. Just use discretion, as always.

Read Aloud for Young Children:

This book by Kenneth Taylor is now out of print. You can get used copies via Amazon for under $1.  This was our ALL TIME favorite book when the kids were toddlers. The pictures are beautifully inspiring! (great art is always a good thing!) The book is the perfect little size for chubby little hands. The newer updates are not nearly as nice. If you can find this used, grab it! There is also an Old Testament Version

Read aloud to all ages:

**Training Hearts, Teaching Minds teaches the Shorter Catechism in a family read aloud format. Written from a covenantal theology perspective, we did not agree with all applications, but it was an excellent resource.

Books I read at the breakfast table:

Girls especially enjoyed:

Pre-Teen, Teen, Mother/Daughter Books:

Boys especially enjoy:

Pre-teen to Teen guys:

The Book I always kept beside my Bible in the early days:

Hope this is a helpful list for you!

What titles would you add?

~~This post contains my affiliate links. Thanks for supporting this blog!~~Sarah!

This article, Where are all the Titus 2 Women is one that has deeply resonated with my readers.

A mentoring friendship is one of those relationships that needs to be handled with care. They are temporary arrangements, and may come and go. They can start well and then fizzle off. Or perhaps you had high hopes for your Titus 2 mentor only to find that she is an older woman struggling with many of the same fears and problems you struggle with.

What do you need to know in order to mentor others effectively?

Emma advises Harriet to refuse Robert Martin, believing that this was the right course of action. In the end, her advice was misguided and Harriet and Robert Martin marry.

1. Know what your mentee wants. Does she want spiritual help? Is she looking for accountability for a specific struggle? Is she battling a self control issue like the tongue or weight management and wants an accountability partner? Does she want to read a book together? Bible study? Ask her what she expects to get out of your mentoring session.

2. Set goals. How long will this last? (This doesn’t have to be a life time mentoring session.) Once a week for six weeks? Eight weeks? Once a month?

Be clear about expectations. “Hey, lets meet for 45 minutes after church.” or “I have an hour on Wednesday. Let’s meet up for coffee to chat.”

Tell her that you’ll hold her accountable to what she’s asking you to hold her to.

When she doesn’t do her work, don’t tell her it’s okay and that it doesn’t matter. That is a waste of your time and hers.

3. Be faithful to expose wrong thinking. (anti-biblical thinking/ vain philosophies/rudiments of the world) Most of our problems are caused by thinking wrong thoughts about God for so long that we begin to believe them.

For a believer, true joy can only come when we submit our lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Submission to the will of another is NOT a popular teaching in today’s world. 1 Timothy 4:7 says to “Train yourself to be godly” and as a Christian woman and mentor, we need to encourage ourselves and others to get rid of anything that sidetracks us from the pursuit of God and godliness.

These things look different for each woman. One woman may be sidetracked by excess food or fashion, another waylaid by too much sleep or worry. Friends, popularity, admiration and acceptance might hinder yet another woman. The Puritans warned against what they called “over-love” of anything temporal that could become sinful. “Over-love” of lesser things can lead to despair and depression, they warned.

Statements like “I think God wants me to be happy, not saddled with a man like this,” and “If God loved me, he would have let me get this promotion,” show a person who isn’t thinking Biblically. Gently show her scripture and expose her error. Something like “No, no. God’s word tells us that he loved you so much that he actually died for you, so no, it isn’t that God’s love for you is diminished. He must be working out another plan for your life.”…etc…

4. Realize that the goal is for her to conquer her “sin/problem” and depend on God.

The last thing you want is for this person to become dependent on you. You don’t have all the answers. Point her to Christ and specific scripture that will help her to renew her mind.

5. Pray for wisdom. You are dealing with someone else’s life here. Don’t give pat answers. Listen for what she’s struggling with right then, enter into her problem with her and offer hope. Give help from scripture. Sometimes women just need friendship and not counsel and that is okay, too. Plan to be flexible and honest and say, “Hey, ya know, it sounds like you’re just really lonely right now. Do you want to do lunch next week and coffee up?”

How do you find an effective mentor for yourself?

1. Find someone who has conquered the area you are lacking in. If you are looking to tame your tongue, find the older woman who is consistently wise and kind with her words. Marital help? Find find a woman who loves and respects her husband. Weight help? Find the woman who has displayed self control in her eating and exercise habits. Spiritual direction? Find the woman that displays a Christlike attitude and is consistently wise and kind to all women, and ask her advice. You get the picture.

2. Be specific and honest about your need. Don’t sugar coat the truth. Denial of or down playing will only slow down your progress. Tell her what your goals are.

3. Realize that this woman is doing you a favor. Be teachable and humble. Be open minded if she suggests things you disagree with. Don’t argue. Listen and learn. Sometimes we are blind to our own shortcomings and needs. Humility assumes that another person knows more than you do. Pride tells us that we know it all.

4. Do your homework. If it is a lesson, complete it. If you need to journal, do it.

5.  Be respectful of her time. Thank her for giving of herself to you. Consider giving her a treat when you are done. (Gift cards are great– Dunkin Donuts, Marshalls, etc..)

Here are some of my all time favorite self-help books. They’re great for mentoring: 

Women

Young marrieds:

Mentoring Philosophy and Christian Living

Children/ Teens/ Mother Daughter

*These are my affiliate links to Amazon. Thanks for supporting my blog.

Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, girls. Yup. And if you are in need of some last minute, frugal ideas, I have a few for you.

1. No money to go out? Hype the kids up for a special early dinner (pizza?) in front of a short movie (ahem–so you can prepare), then put them to bed early so you and your husband can have some alone time. Then eat in.

• If you can’t afford a sitter, but can afford a meal, set up a pretty table and order your favorite meal from a local restaurant. (call ahead about take out wait times on Valentine’s Day.)
• If you can’t afford a meal or sitter, make something your husband loves. Mine loves French Onion soup with cheese and anything roast beef or steak.
• If you are on a tiny budget, make a really special dessert and coffee. Some ideas:

1. Chocolate Covered Strawberries are quick and simple. Micro 1 cup of chocolate chips with 1T butter for 45 seconds. Stir. Continue heating and checking every 20 seconds until smooth. Dip clean, washed and patted dry strawberries. Yum! You can also dip pretzels, oranges, etc…
2. Martha Stewart’s Molten Chocolate Cake is to die for.

2. Set the Stage: Light an entire package of tea lights ($1/dozen at the Dollar Tree) while you eat. Stick them in anything glass and group them together for an airy, romantic atmosphere.

One year, I brought patio furniture into our bedroom and set a table in there. On the window, I filled whatever I could find with a tea light candle. It was lovely.

3. Gift? All you need is a card. Can you lean in so I can whisper some advice an older woman gave me once? She said “Honey, guys don’t care about gifts. Just buy him a card, and inside of it tuck a new pair of the tiniest lace undies you can find.” Total winner of an idea. I promise.

What are your last minute Valentine’s Ideas? Share in the comments.