Archive for A Wise Woman

Words of Wisdom from a Young MW

April 23, 2013 Sarah Beals 8 comments

Yesterday I enjoyed a visit with a sweet friend, Emily. Her husband is an evangelist for a National Hoops ministry team and is the grandson of Del and Kay Washer, who wrote this autobiography, One Candle to Burn about their life as missionaries in Africa (fascinating read and mind boggling what this woman did with little more than God, love for the downtrodden and a willingness to work!)

So, they were in our area, and she texted to see if we could meet up for a chat. We met at a Starbucks and I enjoyed tea and a baby fix. :)

emily washer

 

I love her ministry-minded heart, but what I love most is her desire to please and know God.

From my perspective, her life is not easy. She travels on the road most of the year with her three very young children in tow. She lives in a fifth wheel trailer– did I mention with three small boys? :)  Each week, they are in a different location. “Church” on Sunday is different each time, so although you are worshipping corporately, I can imagine it’s just not the same with different strangers every week.

The truth is, ministry is not glamorous, especially when you’re the wife. As a mom of young kids at home all day, I’ve felt lonely, side-lined, overlooked, underused or like all I am good for is taking care of things at home so Peter can go do the “big things.” Satan tries to tempt you to believe that you are on the sidelines wasting your life. He wants you to believe that what God has ordained for your life right now (children) is not the best for you and that He is withholding goodness from you, and trying to destroy your chances at happiness in life. (These are my thoughts, not Emily’s. She never complains.)

Emily said this: “I have to remember that even if I don’t leave this trailer all day, and I see no one else but these three little guys, I am still serving the Lord.”

She is so right. She is serving the Lord right where she is, regardless of how unseen she is. And that one statement is just an example of why this girl is such a blessing to me every time we visit. :)

Where are you today? Behind the scenes, nursing babies, caring for screaming toddlers? Yup. If you are caring for them “as unto the Lord” your work is not in vain and the Lord sees your labor for Him and will reward you. (And your kids will thank you someday!)

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A Wise Woman, Ministry Wives Mini Manifesto

Using Wisdom Online

April 5, 2013 Sarah Beals 7 comments

Do you ever wonder what is appropriate to post online? I struggle with certain aspects of the online presence and find myself praying for wisdom as I post on this blog. There really is so much junk online, and in truth, we are responsible for our words, even the typed ones.

laptop

My “big thoughts” this week about online activity: {sarcasm, incase you didn’t catch that}

#1. Is it really wise to post your deeply held personal convictions for the entire world to see? How about your personal preferences?

Especially sharing on Facebook. It’s like standing up in a crowded stadium and yelling a random 140-character remark, then waiting for the “crowd” to respond. Is there any wonder why the crowd had such mixed reactions?

I know it’s just “sharing ideas”, but who, exactly, is your audience? Are they really listening?  Do you really want to be entering into dialogue about the topic with this person. Do you even care what they think? Do you respect their opinion? Will this be profitable or opening up yet another bees nest? I’m thinking that just like you wouldn’t stand up and yell out random beliefs to the crowd at Fenway Park, you really shouldn’t on Facebook either.

I’m not sure that topics that become controversies like staying at home or working, preschool or no, immunizations or not, birth control, clothing choices, family planning or lack thereof, if to homeschool, how to homeschool, public school, big families or small families, breast feeding, natural family planning, blah,blah, blah are really best addressed publicly. I feel like we’re drowning in a sea of meaningless words.

It is wise to be selective who you share with on Facebook.

Did you know that on Facebook you can make lists? It is one of the greatest features ever. You can assign people to certain lists so you don’t get into exposing TMI and so that you can direct certain conversations to certain groups. For instance, I have these lists:

  • Closest friends
  • Friends
  • Family
  • Teens
  • Acquaintances
  • Restricted

When you assign someone to the acquaintance or restricted lists and chose the security setting, “Share with Friends Except Acquaintances”, it does just that. Or you can post to just your closest friends. Also, a “restricted” list makes sure that those people only see public posts. You can also limit how much you see from other people. I block people who use foul language, make sacrilegious jokes, criticize others, whine or brag, or are just plain mean on FB.

#2. Writing about the church, aka. The Visionary Church Writers: There seems to this trend to highlight to faults of the “universal” church under the guise of being visionary. These are the bloggers who, in broad strokes, paint everyone else’s ministry as selfish, lacking compassion, not missionally or globally minded enough.  I guess they believe they are the experts on what God wants for YOUR local church, wherever it is. (Darn that foolish pastor and those narrow minded elders and deacons! What do they know? If only they’d listen to these bloggers rather than to God, we’d all be so much better off!)

Friends, the local church is local for a reason. Thank you, Captain Obvious. As my mom would say, “Are there any of your clothes on that line?” In other words, worry about your own church and what you are doing in it. You only answer to God for you. These bloggers do more harm than good by airing what they see as dirty laundry for the unbelieving world to see. What ever happened to presenting the bride of Christ, the church, however flawed, as the hope and pillar and foundation of truth. And, just an afterthought–since Christ died for the church and you are badmouthing it, what do you think God thinks of this? Is there a time and place for purifying the church? Absolutely. My problem is not with the concept of purifying the church, but with the method that is being used.

#3. Oh, be careful little eyes what you read. So this one’s not so much about posting, but what we’re reading online. I love technology, I really do. But there’s just so much junk out there. It really does affect you for good or bad.

How does being online affect your heart? Does FB make you feel discontent? Does FB bring out a critical spirit in you? Are you becoming a busy body and not getting your work done? Does it make you want to have a pity party?

How about Pinterest? Does it make you discontent? If so, limit it.

Blogs? Are they bringing you closer to God or making you falter in your faith. Are you spending time mulling over “foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.”

Study God’s word more than you read online. Don’t replace your time in God’s word with some person’s blog entry. My pastor said a few weeks ago, “If you can get your encouragement from someone else, you’ll have no need for God.” It’s true! Minimize your time online and maximize your time in God’s word. I love that you read here, but don’t do so at the expense of your time in God’s word, or I will not be happy with you! :)

Some articles that might be helpful:

“Stop Instagramming your Perfect Life.”

“Social Media Heart Check”

“Does God Care About Your Teen’s Facebook Page?”

 

Do you struggle with certain aspects of the online world like I do? 

A Wise Woman

A Tribute to Two Godly Women and How Their Lives Touched Mine.

April 2, 2013 Sarah Beals 6 comments

Two lovely, godly women passed away this week.

edith

First, Edith Schaeffer. She is truly one of the most inspiring women of my lifetime. Although imperfect, I loved her creative, others-focused life. I love that she created beauty for her children, sewed beautiful clothing, embraced art and music and read aloud to her children daily. Her hospitality and stranger love was jaw-dropping. She was intellectually an equal to her husband, Francis,  and not just some simple Christian woman. She found things out for herself and defended the faith during an era where women were just content to be told what to do and think. Her love for beauty in art, music, and decorating was contagious. Her wonderful writings are a gift to those of us younger women. Her love for all things “home-y” and beautiful make her a kindred spirit.

Her wayward son Frank wrote this loving tribute here. Just goes to prove that a mother’s influence continues after her death.

The second is Julie Herbster. Although I’d met her, Peter and I knew her husband Matt better than her from our many trips to the Wilds of NC over the years.

Julie’s memorial service is a wonderful tribute to a godly mother who served her five children, home schooled them, helped them with their music lessons, did gardening and other family projects together with them and just plain thrived living out her God-given role. Peter and I watched her memorial service last night. Although she was a couple of years younger than I am, I learned that Julie and I had many similarities: we both shared a love for godly Christian books and thrived on discussing them, love one-on-one conversations with friends, laughing until we cry, and desiring to be behind the scenes instead of “up front” in ministry. I also appreciated hearing that Julie never sought the spotlight, found herself in a very public ministry, but she would have faithfully served in obscurity if that is where God had placed her. THAT is my kind of woman! Faithful, submissive, meek.

What can you learn from the death of a saint?

  1. Life is a vapor.
  2. Spending time and energy on things that don’t matter is foolish. Only what’s done for Christ will last. All else is hay, wood, stubble.
  3. Today may be the last day we have to do good. Nothing is guaranteed.
  4. Eternity is forever. Be prepared now for where you’ll spend your forever. God is not going to force himself on you. If you choose to live w/o God in life, he’ll honor your wishes in death as well.

When you live for Jesus Christ and faithfully serve Him, your life is never in vain. It’s lived for something “higher.” It has a multi-generational outlook, one that says, “See, my life pointed to someone more glorious than myself. Follow Him!”

Whatever you are doing today, make sure you are doing life God’s way and according to His will. (Matthew 7: 21) Live life for his glory and for the love of those you are called to serve. Do not withhold love from those around you. Don’t waste time. Time is shorter than we think.

“Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.” Psalm 116:15

“I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies”  John 11:25

 
A Wise Woman

Ministry Wives Mini-Manifesto Mondays

April 1, 2013 Sarah Beals 6 comments

For the next few months, Mondays on the blog are going to be dedicated to encouraging Ministry Wives. I’ve asked several friends to contribute to the series and hope that it will be a blessing to many of you.

Who is this series for?  Anyone in the any capacity of ministry, but especially those who are married to men in leadership positions in the church: Missionary wives, evangelist wives, pastors wives, youth pastors wives, deacons and elders wives, etc. Also, those in full time ministry in Christian organizations. If you don’t find yourself in one of these categories, you can still benefit, because the truths are universal for all Christian women in all walks of life.

I know that my own search for MWs helps has been frustrating. Many are dated and written for women of older generations. And women today are not the same as women of 50 years ago, for good or for bad.

The lack of material may also be due to the fact that each ministry situation has it’s own dynamics and specifics are hard to address. In the mix you have a husband’s strengths and weaknesses, a wife’s strengths and weaknesses, a variety of different ministries, people with differing needs and personalities at varioius stages of Christian maturity or lack thereof, struggles personally and corporately in the body, etc…

Today I want to share three common struggles for ministry women (hereafter referred to as MWs) that I have either experienced or have seen firsthand:

Surviving rather than thriving:

Our devotional life is not optional but essential for abundant life. "Abide in me" is the instruction of Christ.

Our devotional life is not optional but essential for abundant life. Abide in order to thrive.

MWs are normal people and just like everyone else, we have our ups and downs. People expect us to be “up” and therefore, when we have our “downs” people take note. Because we know this, and because we know that people assume that our bad days/months/seasons must mean that there is something seriously wrong with our husband’s ability to lead his own family (which can bring into question his qualifications to lead a church or ministry) it can put undo pressure on MWs to mask her own needs. In fact, many sources say that nearly 80% of MW have experienced serious seasons of depression. I believe that Satan uses this deception of “keeping up appearances”, pretending all is well when all is not well to discourage the wife, paralyze her with fear and attack the husband via the wife.

Let’s face it, the way we treat our husband at home affects them. Most guys just want their girl to be happy. And a wife who is not helping her man is hindering him. When a woman struggles with her own spiritual life, she most likely harms those closest to her. Think about it this way: Do you think you are harming or helping your husband’s ministry when you are:

  • unfaithful
  • spiritually unstable or simple
  • undependable
  • moody
  • unpredictable
  • starting small fires and problems with your careless words
  • over-reaching your boundaries
  • answering for/taking over for/speaking for/ overstepping his leadership (By the way, don’t do this. Totally emasculating. You are not his mother. He can do his job just fine.)
  • indifferent about what he’s trying to accomplish
  • hindering his progress

If you are spiritually discouraged, the best thing you can do is be honest, be humble and get help. Make sure you are spiritually thriving. That’s it. Big secret revealed.

I recently flew to South Carolina to visit my oldest daughter. The airline stewardess dutifully went over the emergency procedures and reminded us that if the cabin pressure drops, we are to put our oxygen masks on first, and then help our children and neighbors. Taking care to put our oxygen mask on first makes us able to help others and makes us part of the solution, rather than part of the problem.

oxygen mask

The same is true with our devotional life. If we are not thriving and are trying to help others, we become part of the problem instead of part of the solution.

Read through Psalm 1. Notice the adjectives used for the “blessed man”: He is like a tree planted, well rooted, leaves not wilted or withered but vibrantly green bringing forth fruit, prospering in their Christian walk, thriving and well watered. Whatever it takes to get you to this point, do it. Even if it means stepping out for a season to regroup and get your own spiritual life in order.

Committed but not Surrendered

When we follow Christ initially, we acknowledge our need for him to remove and cleanse us from our sins. We acknowledge his Lordship over all things. But as time goes by, we sometimes forget that we are really his servants. We forget that Romans 12:1 tells us to present our bodies as living sacrifices. We forget that the norm for all Christians is to live a fully surrendered life. The norm.

This means that we need to bow our entire life,

  • all our plans
  • all our desires,wishes and dreams
  • all our words and thoughts
  • all of our being
  • all of our time and money

to the one who bought us with the precious blood of His Son.

We like to fancy ourselves “committed Christians.” But in fact, God wants us to be surrendered Christians. There is a very subtle difference between these two words:

A “committed” Christian retains the right to control what he/she commits to. Yes, I’ll commit to this ministry. No, I’ll not commit to that. The obvious point being that commitment means that we are in control.

A “surrendered” Christian has no will but her master’s. She does the will of her master whatever, whenever, wherever. She has this servant mindset 24/7. She realizes that being a servant/slave of Christ’s means placing her life in the hands of a good God. This is the place of peace and victory. Anytime we are harboring or hanging on to something sinful that we know God forbids, we are not a surrendered Christian. We are a rebellious Christian, playing games. When we claim our “rights” or tell God that “we’re only human” and justify sinful behavior, God will make life hard for us.

Since Eve tried to “run her own life” in the garden, we have struggled with dueling kingdoms. We want our own way; God wants us to surrender to His way.

Ask yourself: Does this action, thought, word, deed reflect my desire for the advancement of God’s kingdom or my own sinful little kingdom?

 

Renegade Thought Life

This could come under “surrendering” your thought life to Christ, but this is such a serious struggle for MWs that it is worthy of its own section.

What is your thought life like?

  • Are you a Colossians 3:1 heavenly minded Christian? Where are your affections? What do you long for inside?
  • Are you thinking the best about other people? Or do you always assume the worst?
  • Do you complain inside about your situation in life?
  • Do you dwell on the sins of others against you, nursing years of hurts, slight and wrongs, real or perceived?

If you are, you are reaping to yourself a harvest.

Sowing sinful thoughts reaps a sinful harvest. The thing is, you are only hurting yourself. You are entangling yourself in a self-righteous sin that does not die easily. After years of talking to yourself like this, you begin to believe your own sinful judgements and declarations about others. It hinders your love for people, and makes your testimony suspect. You can’t serve or love others that you think the worst about. End of story.

Satan is the ultimate slanderer and we are never in a good spot when we are joining in with his sin.

Thing is, even when you agree with God that this sin needs to go and you begin in obedience to run your thoughts through the sieve of scripture, your own mind and thoughts keep accusing you. Old habits die hard.

So don’t allow yourself to be entangled with this sin. Lasso your renegade thoughts. Take each thought captive:

  • every vain imagination,
  • every cynical, careless, callous, critical thought,
  • every ungrateful complaint.

Replace it with scripture. Fight this one. Even if you feel like a crazy woman. Post scripture. Ask for God to cleanse your heart.

And by the way, Satan will accuse you in your own mind for years and try to make you believe that this is all that you are capable of. It’s not true. It takes work, but by God’s grace weed out sinful thoughts. You become what you think about!

Thanks for joining us today for our first MW’s Mini-Manifesto.

***Please share your words of wisdom with other MW’s in the comments section. I’m counting on you lovely women to help encourage others to keep fighting the good fight.

A Wise Woman, Ministry Wives Mini Manifesto

25 Marks of A Wise Person {plus a free printable}

March 5, 2013 Sarah Beals 4 comments

When my kids were young, I kept the book Proverbs for Parenting on the counter near my Bible. It was an index of proverbs by topic and it helped me find verses quickly so I could tell my kids what God thinks of say lying, striking another person, angry words and foolish behavior and how he commends wisdom, righteousness, justice and heeding the laws of their parents. My copy is stained and worn, and moms today are blessed to have computers which make this job of looking up verses on a specific topics in an instant much easier!

We all want our kids to be wise instead of foolish.

I would engrain into them songs like “Walk with the Wise” and “Obedience Is…” from a Patch the Pirate CD we owned, I’d pin up sayings like “There are only two choices on the shelf: pleasing God or pleasing self.” We talked what seemed like all day about what God says and what God wants and who God is. Some days I felt like a broken record repeating, reinforcing, etc…

Well, not much has changed except now that the kids are teens they talk back! It’s a blessing to hear them understanding God’s word.

Kids who are raised in Christian homes know God’s word,

but the problem comes when they understand it and don’t apply it.

This is also a problem in our churches. We hear God’s word, know God’s word, claim to agree with God’s word, but turn around and do exactly what we want. We do exactly what God’s word forbids. And all the while claiming to be “sold out” for Jesus. Let’s not drive our kids crazy “preaching” to them when we are blind to our sinful areas of life.

If we tout the proverbs and wax eloquent about how God’s word has changed our life and then: over speak, over step, over react, over reach, over eat, over emote, over sleep, or any other “over the top” practices which are out of balance and in excess,

which please our flesh

instead of deny it

“professing ourselves to be wise,”

God’s word says we are fools.

We are failing to walk in God’s spirit,  and can’t really complain when our kids follow us down our self made paths. (In fact, most of the “shortcomings”  parents complain about in their kids are also present in one of the two parent’s lives, too, but they are too blind to see it! How many times have we had parents come to us about “Johnny” doing this and that,  and it is so obvious where little Johnny’s learning it–from the parent!! We’ve seen this over the years in youth ministry and know it’s true in our kids as well. When we find a behavior that’s troubling to us in one of our kids, we look to rid it from ourselves, first {usually, it’s Peter, by the way. Ahem. jk}).

Here is a list of wise qualities from Proverbs that I gathered for a devotional I did last week.

Wisdom and discretion (KJV old word is prudence) teach us how to be:

  • self governed
  • self disciplined
  • sound in mind
  • skilled and good judgement in managing ourselves, our own affairs
  • resourceful with what we have,
  • build up our husband/family and their lives instead of tearing it down
  • cautious or circumspect in certain situations
  • righteous in word, deed and thought
  • judge honestly and rightly without partiality

A Wise Woman/Man/Boy/Girl:

A Proverbs Portrait of A Wise Man (FREE PRINTABLE)

Listens and adds to their learning. Proverbs 1:5

Inherits honor. 3:35

Loves the person giving a rebuke 9:8

Accepts Instruction 9:9

Brings joy to his parents 10:1

Works diligently in summer  10:5

Accepts commands 10:14

Store up knowledge 10:14

Holds His tongue 11:29

Wins souls for Christ 11:30

Listens to Advice 12:15

Uses his tongue to bring healing 12:18

Heeds parental instruction 13:1

Walks with wise men in order to grow wise 13:20

Fears the Lord and shuns evil 14:16

Spreads knowledge 15:7

Uses discernment 16:21

Has a heart that guides his tongue/mouth 16:23

Use their lips to promote instruction 16:23

Seek out discerning knowledge 18:15

Is not led astray by wine/beer 20:1

Does not show partiality in judging 24:23

Turns away anger 29:8

Keeps himself under control 29:11

Does not give full vent to his anger 29:11

The Bible warns that every man thinks he is wise. The real test of our wisdom is when we hold up our life to the mirror of God’s word, to test to see how wise our words and actions really are.
A wise man, upon seeing that he is off course, changes course!
A Wise Woman , , ,

All Friendships Are Not Created Equal, And That’s Okay.

February 21, 2013 Sarah Beals 11 comments

 

I plan to spend a few posts talking about friendship.

We all have many kinds of friends and different levels of friendship.

Here’s the thing: All friendships are not created equal, and that is okay.

In fact, knowing this will help you in the long run. Have you ever had a friendship that disappointed you and left you disillusioned, wondering what went wrong?

If we lump all friendships into one category, we really can’t benefit from the friendship. The Lord brings different people into our lives for different reasons, in different seasons, and by realizing this, and keeping the Lord’s goals in mind, we can be more effective in our ministry to our friends. If we realize that every meeting is God ordained, we’ll be more apt to offer friendship with a God focused mindset.

And if we remember that our friendships are not ultimately about us, but about God’s glory and his ends in our lives and in the lives of others, we’ll be more apt to jump in and offer comfort or aid, lend a listening ear or some advice when asked, or whatever is needed, whether we feel this person is an ideal fit for us or not. Let’s face it, we all come from different backgrounds, have different personalities and weaknesses, and sometimes this prejudices us from extending friendship to someone who is not just like us.  Worse, if we believe that every friendship must have the end goal of becoming future BFF’s (to use a seventh-gradish term), we’ll be sorely disappointed by our friendships.

Friendship is ultimately a good gift from God. He modeled it for us on earth, and he called us into friendship with him. He is the reason we know about friendship.

It might help to realize that every friendship has a purpose, and if we are wise and open to God’s leading and are looking for what He might be doing by allowing this “friendship”, we can befriend all kinds of people in all types of walks, in all stages of growth, and in turn will open ourselves up to a broader spectrum of ministry.

All friendships are not created equal and do not have the same end goal.

Here are eight types of friendships. These categories might help you set your expectations and goals for each friendship.

For instance, there are:

1. Acquaintance friendship, where we see each other around once a month, enough to say hello and wave or chit chat for a second.

  • the visiting couple at church,
  • women I see in town on a regular basis.
  • familiar face at the cash register or doctors office

2. Casual friendships, where we see each other on a somewhat regular basis, once a week, bi-weekly, and have at least one common bond in our life.

  • women at our homeschool co-op
  • other moms at my kids lessons or activities
  • women in my own extended family
  • friends who are in other ministries but that we see often enough to connect with on a deeper level
  • a friend of a friend

3. Close friends who I love and know well: we do many parts of life together and want the best for each other.

  • women in our family
  • our kids’ teachers
  • women in our church
  • lifelong friends

4. Women I mentor: younger women who need some help and come to me for advice

5. Women who mentor me: older women or women more experienced than I am in an area of life, who I’ve asked for specific help in areas I struggle with.

6. An intimate friend. An iron sharpening iron kinda friend. A person who you can be totally truthful with in love and they’ll know your heart. They always assume positive intent because they really love you. Usually built over a long time, this friendship that is held together by the glue of love, trust, integrity and looking out for the good of the other person, even if you have to tell them that they are headed in the wrong direction. They accept and give correction and advice if needed without fear of losing your friendship. They are there for the long haul.

7. Women who don’t understand how to be a good friend. (Hurt women who hurt other women.) These are women who don’t seem to know how to accept love from other people, therefore can never love others well. They assume the worst, second guess everyones motives, make caustic comments about other peoples situation. They are fun on a casual level but shallow relationships are all they know. They build walls to hide their own insecurities, put on a masks so that people don’t know the real them (because they’d never love me if they knew me, they assume.) They project their own heart’s motives on other people and assume that everyone acts just like they do…so they don’t trust anyone.

8. A “friend” to avoid. These would include angry women, gossips, those who love to start discord, envious (want what you have) and unloving (does not want the best for you, but for themselves).

Although you cannot have a close friendship with one of these people scripturally, these women are strewn throughout all of our casual friendships, and you may find yourself mentoring a woman who is trying to rid herself of these things.

Have I left out any categories? Have you ever set yourself up for disappointment by expecting more from a friendship than it was able to deliver?

Do you shy away from a friendship because you believe that every friend must be a kindred spirit, when maybe God is calling you to mentor an “unlovely” person? (we are all unlovely in some regard in our lives and could all benefit from the ministry of others to help prepare us to meet the Lord.)

Are you wondering what went wrong in a specific friendship, but are now able to see that maybe you were expecting a kindred spirit, but that was not where the other person was?

Share your thoughts?

(photo credit)

A Wise Woman, Christian living , ,

When Intellect Takes Precedence over God’s Word.

January 21, 2013 Sarah Beals 5 comments

 

One of my greatest concerns for the younger generation is this notion that  God’s Word is subjective. This is, of course, a result of the culture we live in, which screams that the only truth is that there is no objective truth.

When we question the clear teaching of God's word, because it seems too hard or goes against our flesh, we're headed for confusion.

Christian mothers, we need to keep this in mind as we live our own lives,  teach our own children and deal with younger women in the church.

I am afraid for my own girls, because I see the confusion in Christian writings, blogs and teachings first hand.

It is that same old lie, the questioning, “Hath God really said?”

Moms, if God said it, we have to wholeheartedly hold to it. Period. And that is NOT easy in today’s culture.

Today, if you want to seem relevant today, you question everything. You question authority, you question rules, you question convention and tradition. This is seen as “intellectual.” If you obey rules, you are un-intellectual, living in bondage of some sort, and know nothing of “grace.”

Well, I believe that God’s Word has been given to us so that we can live a blessed, joyful life. I believe that God’s grace is what enables us to live as he commands. God’s Word and God’s ways are not meant to squelch your joy or stifle your liberty. If you view it that way, you have a skewed view of God.

God has given us rules for life for our benefit, and to make HIS gospel look attractive. Our lives, lived His way, gives credibility to the gospel.

Here’s how the line of thinking usually goes in a mindset that questions scripture and puts human wisdom above God’s written word:

Does a husband really need to love a wife that is unlovable? I doubt God meant that I need to suffer with a wife that is not holding up her end of the bargain. God wants me to feel loved as well. That was the original intent, so I don’t think I need to bend over for a wife who doesn’t respect me.

Do I really need to submit to my flawed, less than perfect husband? Submit? Are you kidding me? This is archaic. He’s not better than me, why should he have any authority over me. Besides, doesn’t God’s word say that we are to submit to one another, so why should he have the last word?

Do my children really need to obey? Well, if you care about heartfelt discipline, you’ll not push them to obey. You don’t always obey God, do you? So why expect kids to obey your authority? And define obedience, anyway. Do you really expect that kids can be taught to do something the first time, right away, with a cheerful heart?

When we neglect the clear teaching of scripture, we end up in confusion.

Peter doesn’t love me because I am super lovable, but because God says to. I don’t submit to Peter because he is always right and I don’t have any opinions of my own. I do it because I love my Father in Heaven. And we teach our children that they need to be obedient to their God by being obedient to their parents because God has commanded it and gives a promise of long life to those who obey this command.

This is not hard teaching, but it does go against the flesh. And it isn’t popular, clearly, because we see confusion about these topics on a daily basis.

Why not trust what God’s word has taught? And Christian women, we are told to proclaim GOD’S message, not some watered down version of our own ideas. We are his ambassadors, his bond-servants. We can’t have a different version of God’s message. If you can’t wholeheartedly agree with God’s message, why not be honest about that and NOT claim to speak for Him? Don’t put your message above the clear teaching of scripture. It is working against the gospel and is not helping younger women to “hold fast” to the word of truth.

GraceLaced Mondays
A Wise Woman, Christian living, Christian Parenting

Meet Ruth Bryan, 1805-1860

October 2, 2012 Sarah Beals 2 comments

I am extremely thankful for godly older women who had the foresight to write down practical Biblical teaching for the next generation (wisdom thinks ahead!).  I am thankful that my daughters and I can benefit from them today and that they are preserved for future generations of Christian women!

I love reading the writings of Puritan women. And I was encouraged by this excerpt from Ruth Bryan, who lived from 1805-1860. She talks about how God allows us to go through trials and failures to bring us to the place where we are seeking only Him.

I know it is a little lengthy but it is very helpful! Especially if you have been struggling with discouragement or burnout.

This is an excerpt from a letter:

He plunges us in the ditch!

Our Father has determined that Christ shall be all,
and we nothing.

To accomplish this experimentally, He undoes our work.

When we have been washing with soap, He plunges us in the ditch! 

When we seem to be getting on a little better than usual, He
turns us upside down.

This is hard work, and while the process is going on, we think it must be for
destruction, for we appear to grow worse
and worse! 

But in truth it is for salvation—
to show ourselves to ourselves, 
 to bring us to forsake ourselves, 
 and to give us Christ, instead of ourselves.

Oh, what a blessed exchange!

It is worth being spoiled in all the labor of our
hands, and marred in our very best things—to
possess such a treasure!

There can be no drinking of the ‘living waters’ while
we have a price in our hand, be it much or little.


There can be no buying the gospel wine and milk
while we have any money.

There can be no triumphing
in “the Lord our righteousness,” while we are hunting
about for shreds of our own, and sewing them together.

All this is Christ-rejecting and God-dishonoring!

Therefore be not cast down at the Lord’s ways towards
you, for if we are anything, or have anything—Jesus
cannot be everything. And if He is not everything, He
is nothing. He must be all—
for holiness,
for happiness,
for justification,
for sanctification,
for acceptable appearing before God,
for suitable walking before men,
for holy living,
for happy dying.

In short, our Father has “blessed us with all
spiritual blessings in Him.”

And the reason we do not enjoy them more is because we
seek them in ourselves!

Oh to have the single eye which looks at Jesus only!

Then would our whole body be “full of light.”

But thus to venture right away from self is a
venture indeed—and can only be done by the
power of the Holy Spirit.

A Wise Woman, Books I Love, Christian living

For When You’re Spiraling Downward

September 25, 2012 Sarah Beals 9 comments

I once had a problem so big that I let it suck the life out of me. At any given moment, just the thought of the problem could send what seemed to be a brick slamming down into my stomach, and my thoughts would slowly descend, spiraling downward like a bathtub when the drain is opened and the dirty water instinctively rushes down to some lower level until the vessel is left empty. Empty but all-consumed.

 

That is how I felt.

I was walking through life in a semi conscious state, in a fog. Doing life but not all there. I was fighting to find even the smallest spark of joy.

I am sure I missed things that I can never recover.

Memories with my kids, my husband, and life.

Life. I missed life at that moment, because problems were big and  I was living  a self imposed death.

When we let problems, real or perceived, become so big that all of life is small in comparison, we aren’t thinking straight.

We *think* we are fighting to hold on to our dreams, to right the wrongs, and to uphold justice, but

in reality are ruining our own lives.

We’re working overtime to fix our idea of what our lives should look like, how the people in our lives should act, how people should relate with us, how our husband should be more dedicated to justice and our brother in law should be less outspoken and more caring, how our finances should be steadier and our children, for heavens sake, should not ever be sick.

WE.ARE.TRYING.TO.BE.IN.CONTROL.OF.EVERYTHING.

Bottom line: We think life would be better if it went our way.

Our prayer is “My kingdom come.” (of course, it is an unspoken prayer, because, ya know, who would actually verbalize that? But that is how we act.)

We forget about God’s kingdom for a time, because we’re so busy working overtime on our own.

If we don’t let it go, the dream of our ideal world, life according to Sarah, we die inside and lose hope, and end up in despair.

Despair is the mental death of a dream that never materialized.

The simple solution: Relinquish your throne.

Acknowledge that God is actually in Control of All Life.

And He is your God, so you can trust him.

Let go of being right. Let go of being wronged.

Because in the end, our only concern has to be for his kingdom.

Our goals have to be his goals.

We can’t advance our own kingdom and His at the same time.

What consumes your thoughts? Identify it.

Now picture yourself taking it into your hand and giving it to God. (really, it is in his hands already, but you are acknowledging his Lordship in this mental exercise, mKay?)

Give it back to God and don’t ever take it back. No backsies.  (and if you do find yourself with it “back”, which is highly unlikely, but let’s just say incase your sister does it or something crazy like that…do it over again. Give it back again.)

He is doing all His Holy will each day. Do you believe this? Can your believe Him?

Resting in God’s sovereignty is the way to resuscitate your weary heart, mind and life.

Today is life. Today is real. Embrace it and thank God for it as you TRUST God’s goodness towards you.

**Please know that I realize that all depression is not related to “thinking wrong thoughts” or “not depending on God.” The fact is that some forms of depression require medication and thank God we have that available in modern days. This study is for women who are struggling with wrong thoughts and the negative effect it can have on our bodies.

 

Linked to Courtney

A Wise Woman, Christian living , , , ,

The One Needful Thing To Teach Your Teen

August 21, 2012 Sarah Beals 7 comments

Forgive me if things are a little slow around here this week. We are busy getting ready for our new school year and are savoring our last days of summer before Rebekah goes back to college.

“Life is like a vapor” is a saying I can relate to right now. Childhood slips through your fingers and before you realize it you are trying to catch it and hold on to the tail end of it.

Bek took this in Germany.

But, watching your kids grow up and spread their wings is a beautiful thing, don’t get me wrong. It is just a different kind of thrill than that of rocking them when they are babies or watching them take their first steps.

I can’t stress this enough: Make sure your child is secure in Christ before they leave home. That their identity is in Him. Make sure that they know that only He satisfies.

When I look around at the landscape of Christian teens, I see one of two scenarios:

Those who think they have to BE SOMETHING BIG for Christ

and

Those who think they have to DO SOMETHING BIG for Christ.

As if.

As if we could ever do or be something big in God’s eyes. He is God after all and I am pretty sure that we are not going to impress him with our big pursuits.

And I wonder why we as parents haven’t figured out that God just wants us to love Him wherever we are and whatever we are doing. Period. There is one thing that catches God’s eye as far as “bigness” goes;

“This is the one to whom I will look…the one who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.”

Becoming small is the way to become big. Upside down, I know.

Yes, they should reach their FULL potential and yes, they should walk through the opportunities that God gives them, but NOT because they are looking for fulfillment in things or adventures or positions or ideologies or other people.

And we need to model this for our kids. How? Here’s the answer key: joyful contentment in whatever state we are in.

And mothers are not modeling this for their girls and by default are teaching them that God is not enough, that you need something more: more respect from other people, more influence, more money, health, a better community, or church. Blah, blah, blah. What if all that you cling to was stripped away from you, like Job? What then? Are you left in a stun because God really was never your one pursuit?

I had a girl tell me recently that she never wants to be like her mother. And I have listened to teen girls who tell me that they feel like a nothing and a nobody and I cringe as I see her trying, trying, trying…to be loved, to be something, to be known. She doesn’t realize that she IS loved.

If you have teen girls, read through Ephesians. Note ALL that we have in Christ. Don’t be deluded by Satan into thinking that God is against you or that you are NOT doing enough. Or if you have had a morally sordid past, don’t let Satan cripple you spiritually, leaving you wondering if God looks on you as less than someone else. He doesn’t. When He looks at you, He sees you in Christ. Perfect, holy, finished.

So, embrace it, mother, and teach it to your children. Time is slipping away.

A Wise Woman, Christian Parenting
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