Joy-Filled Days

One drawback of living in an the “Instant Age” age where I can get my coffee in thirty seconds from a Keurig whilst downloading a book-du-jour to my eReader is that I come to expect things quickly. Slow is aggravating and unacceptable. Movies are instant, information is always breaking and I like it now rather than later.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” –What a rebuke to me in this digital age.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t work when it comes to cultivating a spiritual life. The spiritual life is hard because, well, it is “spiritual” and our flesh fights it, but it also takes slow and steady work, building precept upon precept, trusting step-by-step when we don’t see answers, holding on to the sovereignty of God and bowing to His time frame instead of getting what we want when we want it.

I am currently re-reading The Pursuit of God, a book written in the 1940′s. Tozer talks about how people then wanted things “instantly.” I hardly think of of the 1940′s as a fast paced time, and can only imagine what he’d think today.

He’s talking about taking time, slowing down long enough to be receptive and aware of God. He’s comparing the spiritual giants that he’s admired with the seemingly weak, ineffective state of Christians in general of his day. Here’s his take:

I venture to suggest that the one vital quality which they had in common was spiritual receptivity. Something in them was open to heaven, something which urged them Godward…They differed from the average person in that when they felt the inward longing they did something about it. They acquired the lifelong habit of spiritual response.

Failure to see this is the cause of a very serious breakdown in modern evangelicalism. The idea of cultivation and exercise, so dear to the saints of old, has now no place in our total religious picture. It is too slow, too common.

We now demand glamour and fast flowing dramatic action. A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relations with God. We read our chapter, have our short devotions and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting or listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar.

The tragic results of this spirit are all about us. Shallow lives, hollow religious philosophies, the preponderance of the element of fun in gospel meetings, the glorification of men, trust in religious externalities, quasi-religious fellowships, salesmanship methods, the mistaking of dynamic personality for the power of the Spirit: these and such as these are the symptoms of an evil disease, a deep and serious malady of the soul.

For this great sickness that is upon us no one person is responsible, and no Christian is wholly free from blame. We have all contributed, directly or indirectly, to this sad state of affairs.

We have been too blind to see, or too timid to speak out, or too self-satisfied to desire anything better than the poor average diet with which others appear satisfied.

To put it differently, we have accepted one another’s notions, copied one another’s lives and made one another’s experiences the model for our own. And for a generation the trend has been downward. Now we have reached a low place of sand and burnt wire grass and, worst of all, we have made the Word of Truth conform to our experience and accepted this low plane as the very pasture of the blessed.

If this is true in the 1940′s, I’m sure it’s true of us. Sometimes slowing down takes self-control and self-discipline. It’s retraining our mind to meditate again on God’s word in a world where Twitter-style snippets of one second sound-bites are the communication style of choice. Lingering and enjoying God, sitting and taking time to know Him are choices that won’t just happen by chance. We need to put on the brakes. The brakes of our mind in order to learn and appreciate what we have in Christ.

I have to ask myself some tough questions. Am I seeking God first? His ways? His word? Or does where I spend my time betray my true love? Often good things can morph into all consuming things that need to be brought back under the Lordship of Christ. This is true of all technology for me.

Plan to be still and slow today. If your schedule won’t allow it, you can still control where your mind goes today and you can choose to meditate on God’s word. If you don’t choose wisely, it does affect your future. One of my favorite quotes: Never sacrifice the future on the alter of the immediate. The choices we make today, affect and direct our future.

Chime in: Do you struggle with slowing down physically and mentally? Doesn’t there always seem to be a hundred and one things vying for our attention? How do you plan to change this and be intentional with where your mind spends its time?

Today is Mother’s Day and like most women, I really want to do right by my kids. I “study” motherhood. I put time into it, reading about every stage, keeping my eyes and ears wide open as I navigate life with each child. I invest, pray, sacrifice and prioritize in order to meet my high ideals.

I want to be a good mom, but I am not good. I am sometimes impatient, irritable, distracted and self-serving at home. I do good things for bad reasons, and bad things with good reason and I have a thousand-and-one excuses for my mixed-up behavior.

Often my desire to be seen as a “good mom” is really a mask for the underlying idols that already reign in my heart. 

To make matters worse, the ”good mom” persona is celebrated and encouraged in our churches, making its grasp even more subtle and ensnaring when coupled with my own sinful motives. It looks oh-so good on the outside, but the underlying symptoms are no way for the godly to live: Irrational fear that becomes all controlling and masks itself as “conscientious”; people pleasing that parades as being “others focused”; controlling pride that rejects God given authority in the church and masks as “family centered”, or over-investing in our kids because we are under-satisfied in God.

The Bible says that my heart is deceitful and wicked. It says that I am a sinner and I know it to be true. BUT, I sometimes want to think of myself as less of a sinner–a not so bad sinner. I rationalize, compare myself to others and try to declare myself good. I don’t want to agree with the Bible. I want to look good.

Paul Tripp has some insight in “Whiter Than Snow”:

Ask yourself…

Why do we spontaneously rise to our own defense? Why are you and I devastated when our weakness, sin and failure are pointed out? Why do we find confrontation and rebuke painful when they are done in love? Why do we want to believe that we are deprived, but not depraved? Or that we are depraved but not totally? Why do we find comfort in pointing to people who appear to be worse sinners than we are? Why do we make up self-atoning revisions of our own history? Why do we erect self-justifying arguments for what we have said or done? Why do we turn the table when someone points out a wrong, making sure that they know that we know that we’re not the only sinner  in the room? Why do we line up all the good things we’ve done as a counter-balance for the wrong that is being highlighted?

We find this all so hart to accept because we studiously hold onto the possibility that we’re more righteous than the Bible describes us to be. When we look into the mirror of self-appraisal, the person we tend to see is a person who is more righteous than any of us actually is!”

I am not good, and I know it. I don’t have to be.

WHEN I pursue goodness, its driving force must be devotion to and immense love of Christ which desires to please Him in my parenting efforts.

Grasping for perceived goodness that elevates me as a person is warped, unholy and rooted in pride.

The goodness that I need is a result of His righteousness. It is a goodness that knows its own badness, which keeps me focused on Christ and not on outward appearances.  I can rejoice in my badness which keeps me at the foot of the cross, clinging on to the only One who is good.

I can only be a good mother when my life is bowed low, bent in worship

and my whole heart is seeking to know and love God

and to find

my satisfaction and meaning in Christ instead of motherhood.

That is the kind of mother my kids need.

Whenever you are in a relationship with someone, you work quickly to learn their “likes” and “dislikes.” When we were dating, Peter quickly learned that I dislike fish. And sports. He wanted to please me, so he rarely asked me to sporting events, unless I was going to cheer him on while he played. Instead, he took me out for ice cream, antiquing and to craft shops because that’s what I loved. His love for me outweighed his desire for doing what he enjoyed. He really just wanted to make me happy. I did the same for him, even if it meant sitting through hours of softball. And the Three Stooges.

My kids also let me know what makes them happy. Things I typically hear at the park:

“Mom, can you push me higher?”

“Can you give me an underdog?”

“Can you spin me faster on the tire swing?”

Our cat likes to be patted with an aluminum foil ball.

The older girls also have a list of things they love: Trips into Boston, Starbucks, going out to lunch, hot mugs of tea and a good period drama. My son loves PS3, airsofting, tacos and pizza.

I couldn’t help think this morning in my devotions that God also tells us what He likes in His word. And when we really love Him, our desires seem small compared to the desire to make Him happy.

Some of the things God tells us He likes:

{I want you to know me!} For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, And in the knowledge of God  rather than burnt offerings. Hosea 6:6

{I want people of truth and integrity. No hypocrites} Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Ps 51: 6

{Don’t kill yourself doing THINGS for me. I want your humble heart.} The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Ps 51:17

{I prefer to abide with the humble and make my home with them} For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is  Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, and with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite one. Isaiah 57:15

It’s nice to know what will make my kids and husband happy. And the more I read God’s Word, the more I realize that what really makes God happy is my  desire to know Him more.

My youngest sister Hannah put her house on the market this week and has been checking out new homes in our area. One home that she went to inspect was an adorable, old, perfectly restored cape style home right up the road from our house. Hannah reports that the house was gorgeous, perfect and the decor looked like it had been done by an interior designer. After her appointment was over, I drove past the “said” house on my way back from the bank and noticed the owners in the driveway, lugging trash bags full of items they’d hidden for the showing back into the house. I chuckled to myself, totally able to relate to this poor home owner who probably got a half hour notice that people were coming through her house again to “inspect” it.

I couldn’t help but think that this is our tendency as well. We’re “quick pick-up” Christians, hiding our real problems and shining up the outside, in an attempt to portray a perfect, put together appearance on the outside. We equate being a good Christian with moralism, a good reputation with holiness, when in fact, holiness is so much more. Instead of doing the hard work, dealing with our internal heart sin, we’re content to mask sin, hiding things we know to be ungodly or sinful. We become content with outer surface holiness, when God is appalled by this. He cares about truth in the inward parts, purity of heart and righteous motives.

Here’s the thing: we can fool others with a facade, but we can’t fool God. God says that this approach is hypocrisy and that he will resist {actually, fight against} the proud woman who hides, excuses, defends or overlooks her own sin.

Our lives are to be a testimony to the watching world.

Here are some questions for self reflection. If you are truly a believer in Christ, the Holy Spirit has already prompted you on the areas YOU need to change. Your areas of change will be different from my areas that need changing.  If you’ve been fighting against Him, now is the time to submit and confess any sin He’s brought to your mind. If you want to be holy, the first step is to agree with God about your sin. Don’t dismiss it, defend it, overlook it, explain it away–God says that our sin is an abomination to him, stems from our own pride and cannot be tolerated or coddled in our life if we are truly following hard after Him.

If others were to take a “scrutinizing look” at your life, what would they find?

Do you appear outwardly godly while inwardly your thoughts and desires are ungodly?

If people could see your thoughts, would they conclude that you are a holy person? A loving person?

If they could replay your phone conversations and read your texts, see the movies and tv programs you’ve watched, see how you spent your money and time, see what you did when nobody was watching, if they could get a script of your words, would they conclude that you were the real deal Christian? Holy? Or would they conclude that what you portrayed and how you lived were really full of hypocrisy and that you were a fraud?

Ephesians 4:17-30 tells us that there are things in our lives that we need to put off and put on. It is a helpful list, because we sometimes slip back into old habits. Here is an excellent free list based on Eph. 4 that I find helpful to keep out for myself.

Holiness is not a one time decision as anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time can tell you. Holiness is like spring cleaning your house. Once you clean up the cobwebs here, you notice something out of place over there, so you get out your windex and clean the picture frame glass, only to notice that your couch needs vacuuming. Once you get into God’s word to align YOUR life up to it, you find you’ve got your work cut out for you.

Holiness is a day by day, moment by moment decision. It is a daily choice to keep our eyes on Christ’s holiness, to see ourselves as we really are in our sin, to abide close to Christ, depend on Him and then rest in Him. It is a decision to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, to be quick to confess and forsake our sin. When we “hold on” to our sin, we’re showing who and what we really love, aren’t we?

He gives us the strength and grace to “put off” sinfulness and he paid the price and gave us the power to do it through the precious blood of His son. We are no longer slaves to sin like we used to be. When we sin now, it’s because we chose to sin. We are redeemed, purified and our purpose now is to do the good works of His father.

So while you are spring cleaning your home, cleaning out cobwebs, windex-ing streaky glass and straightening out dresser drawers, think about the condition of your inward “temple”–the place that the Holy Spirit dwells. Does anything need to be re-arranged? Tossed out? Cleansed? Fixed? Do it this week.